Avengers Smut/Fluff

Bucky Barnes- I Loved, and I Loved, and I Lost You

(OMG THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR 140+ READS!!)

Warning: Pure angst. All the sadness. *hands you tissues*

Word count: 1363

The first time I knew I loved Bucky was when we were kids. I was 6 and he and Steve were 9. Why they hung around me wasn't a mystery, our mothers were all best friends. We would chase each other in the backyard, and unknown to us our mothers would talk and wonder who would I marry. Steve or Bucky?

The second time I knew I loved Bucky was when I was walking home late from the library. I was 14 at the time and studying, I couldn't at home with my parents constantly fighting now. I went through a shortcut, but then nasty men tried to grope me and take me. But of course Bucky was out trying to clear his head. His strong 17 year old build smashed into the guys and made sure I was okay. He dried my tears and took me to his house for the night, having his mom call mine and tell me where I was at. Of course Steve was there, too. Poor scronny boy tried to comfort me with a hug, but his face came up to my neck and I ended up giggling.

The third time I knew I loved Bucky was when he stood in the middle of our living room. We had moved in together when I turned 16, and our parents agreed since it was closer to the school. In the middle of our living room was when he told me he signed up for the war. Tears in the both of our eyes, unspoken words clung to the air as a newborn baby clings to his mother. He took a step to me, and I took a step back. "We grew up with each other Bucky, why didn't you tell me sooner then the night before you leave?" He could hear the heartbreak in my voice. "I...I didn't know how to tell you. Damn it, I love you (Y/N)! I want to protect this country from the damn Nazis, I want to protect you from them, too." I couldn't help it as the words came out of his mouth. "You can't protect me while your gone! It doesn't work like that!" I shouted, my eyes all red and my face puffy. He stomped over to me and kissed me deeply, and that led to him taking me to his room where he showed me how much control he's had these years. When I woke up the next morning he was gone, a note on his pillow. 'I'll be back before you know it, Doll. ~Bucky.'

After that I became cold to everyone, and one of Bucky's younger friends came by. I gave him the keys, we had talked before. He was going to watch over the house and sleep in my old room. I left it white when we moved in and I moved all of my things to the attic. "Take care!" I said, smiling for once. I was being drafted as a nurse. I rode with other girls who were older than me, I didn't care. I heard that my Steve had gotten a upgrade, and I knew what they were talking about.

A few days later our ride finally landed to our side of the fighting. The head nurse just yelled at us to step back, but I wasn't having that bullshit. I disobeyed her and went right to work, patching the wounded and stitching those who needed it. She let me because I knew what I was doing. She and the other soldiers had read my file, and were impressed.
"Yo Darlin'," said one of the soldiers as you were putting things back after yet again a successful surgery. You couldn't help but love it all, even though you were so close to the fighting. "Yes soldier?" You said, and turned to face him. You shrieked when you saw Steve standing next to him, and you quickly hugged him. "Oh my gosh Steve, now you could throw me." I joked, but his face was still in a scowl, his lips pressed together.

That's when I knew it was the last time I loved Bucky. "He's gone, (Y/N). He was blown off with the side of the train car. I tried to get to him, but the bar couldn't hold the weight anymore..." At this point we both were crying. I had wrote to him before, letting him know what Bucky and I had done. "(Y/N), Bucky loved you so much. I know he would want you to have this," he handed me a picture of Bucky and I. It was at the carnival a week before he left, the photo booth pictures he kept. The last one was of him kissing my cheek and my eyes were glowing with happiness. Now I felt nothing as I jammed the pictures into my pocket.

"I don't blame you at all Steve, it was his time." Was all I could say, and Steve dropped down to his knees and cried into my stomach. "Next mission I go on, you're coming with (Y/N)." He declared. I just nodded, but a bit later he did take me with him to the plane. We kicked ass together, but then everything finally caught up as Steve was talking to his sweetheart Peggy.

I just sat next to him as he said he'd have to dive the plane into the water, and he told me to escape. "I'm not leaving my best friend! I have nothing outside of our friendship, Bucky is dead! I'm staying." And with that I sat on the floor beside him after looking at the pictures of Bucky and I, putting them back into my pocket. I closed my eyes and welcomed death, a smile on my face at the thought of seeing Bucky again. But death never came, only the cold. It hurt so much, but I didn't move as I could feel the water surrounding us start to freeze. I was pulled out by a strong arm and into another plane, but this one was owned by HYDRA.

I kicked and thrashed around, trying to get them off of me. "If you ever want to see you Bucky again you best come with us." Said a man, and I laughed. "Bucky's dead, Steve told me." The man chuckled and shook his head. Cuffing me, we soon landed in a huge place and he wrapped a blanket around my shoulders and took me inside. "I've seen your skills, you did engineering in highschool and passed, yes?" I nodded, and he set out a blue print for me after he uncuffed me. "I need you to make this arm for your Bucky. I'll have him come down every three days, but he won't remember you after the first time." And with that, the man left.

I didn't believe him about Bucky, but I worked on making the arm anyway. But three days later and I was already done, a gruff looking Bucky entered the room. I guess he didn't even look at me, and I tried to not cry as he sat down. I attached the arm to his stump. "Bucky..." He looked back at me and smiled softly. " doll, what are you doing here?" I gave him a sad smile, "They forced me here. I think you need these more than me." I took out the pictures and gave them to him, and he kissed me deeply as he put them secretly in his pocket.

"Okay, that was all we needed you for." Said the man from earlier, and he had two very strong men hold Bucky back as he took me by the arm and dragged me to the other frozen bodies, only I wasn't dead. "Have fun~. This is a little experiment, just sit back and relax." He injected something into my neck, and shoved me into the tube thing and froze my body. The last thing I saw was Bucky fall to his knees, calling out my name. 'I love you Bucky' was my last thought before it all went blank. I was frozen, and couldn't do anything.