You know that feeling when you feel so much at once that you feel nothing at all?
You know that feeling of not even care anymore?
You know that feeling when you just care too much?
You know that feeling of not knowing how to do what you want?
That feeling of want to say something but to being able to express yourself to somebody?
That feeling of hurting yourself?
That feeling of hurting somebody you care about?
That feeling of waiting for that one moment to happen?
That feeling of just wanting to get away?
That feeling of awaiting that one moment of if you might just die because it doesn't matter anymore?
Not knowing the answer?
That feeling of waiting whether all your current problems will be washed away?
And you think its about to happen but its just that man trying to give you one million dollars again.
And you know you care because even one million dollars isn't nearly as important ask that one moment you've been waiting for.
When you just want to disappear.
When reality is too much.
When writing is all you have at the moment.
When you hope they'll find some way to forgive you.
But you know it all over.
That you really messed up.
You don't exactly know how
But you know you did.
You know what you did isn't enough.
But its all you can do.
You want to find that one person.
But you can't.
Everything in the world including yourself is restraining you.
But you just want to get to that one person.
Then once your done get away from them too.
And you're confused.
And unhappy.
Even when you want to smile you can't
Because you know what you did.
And its eating you alive.
From this inside out.
So you can't get away from it.
But you have to.
You must.
But I can't.
