If anyone wants or cares enough to read all this crap then okay lol its just me kinda ranting but not really ranting just telling you another reason I was so inactive cause usually I'm on wattpad everyday
Well if you've read maybe like the 3rd or 4th part of my journal thing I talked about my friends and then I talked about this specific person which was a guy at my school and blah blah if you wanna know more about him then you can look for it 😂 but ok
I met him in September 23 (yes ik the date ik its weird even tho I can barely remember anything else) and he was a transfer student (I won't say how we met cause I explained it in the other part) but let's just say he was really quiet and he talked to me for the first time and I was surprised because I thought he'd never talk and plus I'm really awkward and shy when I first meet someone
So after a while I started to trust him and it was surprising because I have trust issues it takes me awhile to trust someone and he made me feel so happy. This year was my first year of highschool and soon I'll be in 10th but anyway during my middle school years I wasn't a happy person I mean yeah in 6th grade I made my first friend and were so close were still friends to this day and she made me a bit happy through those 3 years together but I was going through crap through those years like with my dad and taking care of my sister when she was a lot younger and just stuff going on with my mom. And sometimes people would make fun of me at school
And then something happened at school that was so embarrassing I wanted to die and this one kid made fun of me for it for the rest of my middle school years. I'm not saying what happened but he told everyone people started making fun of me more and they put so much pressure on me.
At that time I always cared about what names people would call me and bullies and crap. I was so sensitive and I'd always bruise myself. I cried a lot and I just was wishing I was dead and I never told anyone that but my close friend.
This year was the most happiest year of my life tbh because of my old and new friends and no one bullied me. The boy I met this year he was so nice to me yet he was somewhat mean too
And I'd tell him almost everything. He never told anyone my secrets. And he never judged me. He'd always tease me and make fun of me but in a good way. I started not caring about what people said about me unless it was someone close to me that said it. But I became more stronger because of everyone. Especially him. And he even broke me out of my shell a bit. I've made so many new friends because of him and everyone else. One day he told me that I was his sister, even if we sometimes didn't get along he thinks of me as his little sister. It made me so happy.
After a long time during may I started to realize that I liked him. I had feelings for him and they were pretty bad. I'd always get way too nervous around him and blush or at random times. When he'd leave I'd already miss him and when he came back my heart felt like it just jumped. And he just makes me laugh and smile so much that it hurts. No ones ever made me feel something that strong before I can't even describe the rest of it.
I started to think it was weird that I like him because he called me his sister. After awhile I texted him and told him how I felt and I told him I never knew I'd like you and ik you don't like me back
It was really sad for me I cried a lot most of this summer because I miss him a lot and ik that we can't be together. He told my friend maria that he couldn't like me because he only thought of me as a sister. He's changed me. And I'm still trying to get over liking him but its getting worse.
My feelings are changing more and I just can't think about him with anyone else. He understood that I liked him and he still smiled and treated me like he always has.
Its just been making me sad lately but ik that I'll be okay. Were still close friends and that's all I'd want.
