I get out of bed, not wanting to return to school yet, i find my phone and of course its dead, i plug it in and wait for it to turn on. -1 new message- it reads, from who though? its a facebook message, from...Jacob? but hes hes gone he died in the accident. Oh, its from the other day, before the crash, before he and Taylor perished.
Em, hi, i know youre dating Taylor but i need to tell you this. I like you, ive liked you for a while and even though youre with taylor, i hope you feel something for me to.
Tears, i can feel them, building up in my eyes. Because i did him, but i couldnt admit it, i couldnt do that to taylor. By now my eyes are overflowing with tears, i feel like my heart has been ripped out of my chest, like someone is stabbing me in the gut, like a weight has been dropped on my chest. I collapse onto my bed. Tears still falling from my eyes when i hear a knock on my door.
Its my mom, of course, "Em hurry up it's time for school"
"Go away" i manage to weakly reply.
"You cant just blow off shool"
"Just leave me alone!"
No reply, she left. Silence quickly fills my room and Jacob fills my thoughts My eyes start to feel heavy and i doze off. Not wanting to wake back up to reality.
*********************
"Em?! are you okay?! Are you alive???" Yells a person from behind my bedroom door. Lily.
"Yes im okay i was just taking a nap" I wearily reply. "What time is it?"
"It's like 4pm" What?! How could've I have slept that long?
"Uh okay you can leave now"
"Alrighty hope you're okay" she tells me caringly. I hear footsteps tread up the stairs. I check my phone -5 new text messages-
I skim through the texts, all of them sympathetic "I'm sorry's" or "I hope you're okay" No. I'm not okay. I have no motivation to get out of bed, let alone go to school.
Ding
My phone alerts me I have new text. From Trina. Trina has been a close friend since I moved here last year.
"Emmmmm I know you've been depressed about what happened but staying all cooped up in your room won't help" I know it won't help, but what good will going to school do? I'm not ready for school, or anything. I don't reply. I fall back onto my pillow, and cry. And I cry until I have no tears left to cry.
**********
Days pass. I still haven't been going to school. I haven't been doing much of anything anymore.
"Em open this door right now" My mother demands from behind the door.
"Why"
"Cause I said so" She's mad obviously, but why? I make my way to the door and unlock it. My mother bursts, "That's it, it's been too long since you've gone to school. It's not healthy"
"But mo-" She cuts me off.
"No buts. I've arranged for you to go to group therapy sessions at a hosptital the next town over, they start tomorrow, you'll be staying there for a few days so pack a bag and be ready at 9"
"Okay" is all I can say. Mom leaves the rooms and I stumble over to my closet and begin to search for my duffle bag. After a few minutes of rummaging through my things I find it. I stuff it with the few articles of clean clothes I have as well as a few other items then zip it up. Group therapy? I don't need help. I just need time, or someone to talk to. Whatever, I'll deal with it. It's around 5:30 and I'm starting to get hungry. I drag myself upstairs.
