Keeping Watch-Part 2

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MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING FOR SELF-HARM!! PLEASE DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE IN ANY WAY UPSET BY, OFFENDED BY, OR TRIGGERED BY SELF-HARM!
***If you're struggling through self-harm, please remember; YOU ARE NOT ALONE! You are loved, you are wanted, you are brave, you are Strong. If anybody wants to talk, please don't hesitate to message me here. Stay Strong I Love You ❤️
.......Also there's swearing
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Mark made Jack get up and go to bed around midnight. Jack insisted on sleeping in his own bed that night, and Mark didn't want to push him. He knew Jack was feeling extremely vulnerable, and he didn't want to completely destroy any sense of security Jack felt in Mark's home. Also, Mark was just too tired to argue. However, Mark didn't go to sleep at all that night. Instead, he sat down by Jack's door, listening. He heard Jack cry himself to sleep. When silence filled his bedroom, Mark accepted his fate, and broke down crying. He tried with all his strength to cry quietly, afraid to wake Jack. His mind was reeling, and the hallway seemed to be spinning. How could Jack-his Jack-be doing this to himself? How could Jack think such horrible things about himself, when Mark only saw goodness in the Irishman. Mark was scared, in all honesty. He was terrified. But he assumed Jack was even more scared.

Mark finally calmed down, and he listened carefully. He could just barely hear Jack snoring, and Mark smiled. Jack was fast asleep. Mark stood silently, and opened his door carefully. Jack remained asleep. Mark tiptoed over to the sleeping Jack. Again, Mark noticed how peaceful he looked when he was asleep. It was as if the past few hours had never happened, and he was his normal, happy Jack again. Mark exhaled. Jack groaned in his sleep, frowning. He turned over, and Mark froze. 'Did I wake him?!' He panicked. But while Jack's eyes stayed closed, he continued to whimper in his sleep. Realization washed over Mark. 'He's having a nightmare...' Mark questioned whether or not he should wake Jack. Jack turned again, this time with a bit more force. He groaned again. Mark watched silently, not really knowing what else to do. "Hmmm...No." Jack mumbled. Mark frowned. He'd never heard Jack talk in his sleep before. "S-Stop...Don't." Jack slurred.

When Jack's movements became slightly more erratic, Mark took matters into his own hands. "Jack? Jack, wake up." He whispered, shaking Jack's shoulder lightly. "No...No!" Jack yelled, and he whimpered again. "Jack. Wake up." Mark said a little louder. Jack shot bolt upright, screaming. "NO!!" He looked around wildly, and Mark backed up, holding up his hands. "Okay, okay. It's okay Jack." He said. Jack stared at him, breathing hard. "It's okay Jack. You had a nightmare." Mark tried to explain. Jack gave no indications of understanding his boyfriend's words. Mark turned on the light. Both boys squinted at the sudden brightness. "Jack. It's okay." Mark said quickly. Jack swallowed. "M-Mark?" He said. Mark nodded. "Yeah. I'm here, it's okay. You were having a nightmare." He said. Jack seemed to understand the situation, and his expression softened. "Oh. D-did I wake you?" He asked, innocently looking up at Mark. "No! No, no, no, no. Not at all, Love. I was up." Mark said, sitting on the bed in front of Jack. Jack nodded, looking down at the bedsheets. "What time is it?" He asked. Mark looked at the clock on the nightstand. "Almost three in the morning." He said. Jack nodded. "You okay?" Mark asked, again, Jack only nodded. "Just a bad dream?" Mark asked. Again, only a nod. "You wanna tell me what happened?" Mark inquired. Jack hesitated. "No. It's okay." He said. "You sure? It might make you feel better." Mark said gently. "Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks though." Jack said. Mark nodded. "Okay." He said. The couple sat in silence for a while. Then, Jack spoke. "How long have you been up?" He asked shyly. Mark thought the question over before answering. "I slept a little while, but I woke up to go to the bathroom. That's when I heard you rustling around." He said. Jack nodded. Mark noticed that Jack was filling with his sleeves, pulling them down over the palms of his hands. Mark smiled. "What?" Jack asked. "Nothing. You're just cute." Mark said. Jack smiled sheepishly.

Mark noticed how quiet Jack was. "Are you sure you don't wanna tell me what happened in your nightmare, Sean?" He asked gently. Jack held his gaze on the blankets. He shrugged. "I'm kinda nervous to talk about it." He said. Mark moved a little closer to Jack. "Was it about me?" He asked. Jack was quiet, answering Mark's question. Jack took a shaky breath. "You just...It was about you...Leaving." He said. Mark frowned. "Leaving?" He asked. "Yeh. Like, leaving me." Jack said, choking up. He quickly looked down again. Mark sighed quietly. "Jack..." He said. Jack continued. "It's-It's been a fear of mine for a long time now. I...It scares me so much-The idea of you leaving me, for somebody else. Or just leaving me because of how fucked up I am." He said, trying to hide a quiet sniffle. Mark moved right next to Jack and pulled him close. "Jack, I would never leave you. Not ever." He said. "You don't know that! I mean...One day you might meet another guy or girl and fall completely in love. You'll forget all about me." Jack said, hastily wiping one of his eyes with his sleeve. Mark faced Jack and put his hands on Jack's shoulders. "Jack, please stop talking like that." He said. Mark's seriousness made Jack look up. "I've already fallen completely in love. I fell in love three years ago, when we started making videos together. I fell in love when we met in person for the first time. I fell hopelessly in love when you made the video about coming out to see everyone and how you started crying thinking about how you regret saying goodbye to me. Jack, I love you. Nothing is ever gonna change that. Not you being loud, not you being an idiot, and certainly not this." Mark said. Jack was smiling weakly at him. "I'm not letting you go that easy." Mark added, and Jack chuckled. Mark wiped away a stray tear that rolled down Jack's cheek with his thumb. He leaned forward and kissed Jack lovingly.

The two boys cuddled in Jack's bed for an hour until they both fell asleep.

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