Epodic

(43)

so i'm sitting there, and all i can feel is my chest moving up and down as my breath makes condensation on my arm. my head lays heavily on the table as my friends continue to talk and stare at their phones. music plays softly, but it's not the music i would like to listen to. and yes i am with the people i want to be with, but at the same time, i am lonely.

but it's not their fault. it's all mine.

my head is filled with thoughts of you. there's tiny ache in my chest that makes me want to run for miles to make it go away. my eyes stare but not actually see, for my imagination is frantically running through fields, i thought i'd never see again. my fingertips are softly tapping the table, waiting for that special someone's hand to hold mine in anticipation. i'm daydreaming about you, and you're staring at a blurry world, just like i am. i'm sitting here, wanting to know if you're thinking about me like you said you were, or if you fall asleep only with myself in mind. i stare at this table, and i'm hoping my name crosses your lips and makes you tongue tied as yours does mine. i'm here, knowing that i want you to be with me. i want you here.

then i lift my head up.

// m.m.