Ripped [TO BE PUBLISHED 2016]

15

"Hey! Are you almost done in there or what?"

I let my fingers fall over the creases of my shirt, brushed back a few strands of stray hair. "Yeah, sorry," I muttered, letting the door swing open.

Heavy hands shoved me out of the way, and pushing past me was boy with a girl on his hip. Snuffing out the cigarette on the doorframe, I moved out of the way. Dark rimmed eyes watched a perfect circle burn into the dirty, white-painted wood.

It was a girl that I hardly knew, but I very well should have, with dark brown hair and sparkling green eyes. But right then they didn't seem so bright. I could see the terror, yet the undying need for affirmation, refracted in the dim lighting.

"Move," someone huffed, smoke dripping from chaffed lips. I ducked under the growing mass of bodies, teenagers with bags filled with the essence of forgetting.

My long, spindly fingers lightly touched the banister as I walked down the stairs, entering a scene with more boys, booze, and chaos than the one I'd left.

"Aspen!"

"Lacey."

"God, I can't believe you left me here alone, for like, what? Ten minutes? With all these bitches."

A boy with yellow hair tripped on her ankles before I had a chance to answer. "Watch where you're going!" she screamed.

"Bitch!" he said, pivoting around and sloshing his musky beer all over the stained tile floor before going outside to join his friends at the keg.

"Oh, come on A. You never do anything fun." Her voice was high, her eyes bright. She was already gone. There was no reasoning with her. "I mean, what's the worst that could happen? Get high, get laid. Seems pretty fun to me."

"She's right you know," Danny said, winking, His palm slid up my thigh, his fingers warm and damp.

"Can you please just back off?" I scoffed, pushing his hand off me.

"Wow. Calm down. Are you on you period or something?" He was suddenly very unamused. Good. That made two of us.

"No. I'm just not a slut. Thanks." I narrowed my eyes at Lacey. "I'm getting a drink."

"Don't worry about her," I could hear her mumbling. "She's just a bit dramatic." Right. Like I was the dramatic one.

I grabbed a red solo cup, filled it about a fourth of the way with a sweet red liquid and topped the rest off with vodka.

A singing circle had broken out in the backyard, the epitome of our school's stone heads. It was hardly a high school party, most recipients too young to drive, a few old enough to sneak alcohol from their parents or siblings and one or two kids being old enough to purchase alcohol themselves. Still, there was no lack of drugs and sex and beer.

"Hey, Aspen. I didn't know you were here tonight." The voice was low, rough. I shivered. A dark figure loomed over me, making me jump. After a split second I realized who it was. He was ominous, everywhere, like a virus. One that I didn't want to catch. He was older, taller. A sophomore in high school. The driving kind.

"Yeah, well. I'm here. I guess," I said, scooting away from him.

"Well, I was looking for Jamie. Which, have you seen her lately?" He moved his body a bit closer to mine.

"I don't think so." My voice was low, uneven.

"Tell me if you do. And Aspen?" I didn't say anything as he looked at me expectantly. "It was nice seeing you."

I watched as he walked away, letting go of the breath I didn't know I was holding.

My vision hazed for a moment, blocking out the light and the music and the noise, before that moment of serenity was shattered. I inhaled everything at once, the people, the sweat, the faint scent of alcohol and the not-so-faint scent of burning green.

My hand hit the edge of the couch as I caught myself, suddenly dizzy from everything that I'd grown up with. I stumbled blindly through the wave of bodies.

"Hey, watch it," a girl hissed, wrapping her arms tighter around the boy that she was mounting.

I mumbled a quick "sorry". Like I even cared.

I walked back in on Lacey chatting up the boy that I had rejected. His hand was on her thigh, and she was laughing loudly. I reverted my path to the stairs. At the top stood a narrow hallway, rooms lining it on both sides. It seemed empty up here.

In the room closest to the landing I could hear the springs of the bed squeaking. It was probably best that I avoided that room. The one next to it seemed like the master. God knows how many people fucked in there. I walked into the last room on the left and shut the door.

It felt weird being in someone else's room. It was a wonder that anyone could stay alone in here, let alone screw somebody. The walls were painted pink with black striped stickers stuck on the walls. The bed had a twirly white headrest and a ridged wooden footrest. Definitely faux punk rock, that was for sure. Probably the room of some pre-pubescent pre-teen.

I ran my finger along the rough surface of the black. It felt grainy beneath my hand, small sparkles sticking underneath my finger nails.

"Aspen."

I whipped around, strands of hair sticking to my gloss coated lips. "Oh. Damon. I thought you were looking for Jamie?"

"Oh yeah. I was." He didn't say anything else. Didn't give me a solid explanation. "You do that art stuff right? You should draw me something sometime." He was nice. Sweet even. Maybe everything that I'd heard about him hadn't been true.

"Yeah," I said smiling. "Yeah, Okay. I will."

aQ[N