Yawn.
It’s morning already huh?
Rubs his eyes.
Which year am I in and how many years has it been since that day again?
I’ve lost count. It’s been millenniums, I guess that doesn’t matter which year I am in right now. Mmm, this bed feels too good, maybe I’ll take a quick snooze. The sun hasn’t even come up!
Zzzzzzzz
LORD, PLEASE CLEANSE MY BODY OF THIS FOUL THING!
A few burst of sound like that of thick paste followed by a stream of oozing sound
Awwwwww! What the hell did I eat earlier? My butt is all sore! I can barely feel my legs, it’s completely numb. Ooooh! aaahh! it’s tingling! Awwwww, I think I’m gonna die...
More sounds of thick paste and compressed air came bursting out
Sniff sniff,
Hoof! wow, that smells like last night’s chicken!
Small object starts clattering and shaking on a wooden surface
. . . wait what’s that sound?
This doesn’t feel good, I better wipe my ass and get out of he.....
A violet star in the dark night sky glimmered through the window opening.
SSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHIIITTTT....I NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE!
Why won’t this door open!? Open dammit, open!
Oh Lord, please have mercy on this lamb! When I said cleanse my body of this foul thing, I didn’t mean for you to literally launch a comet at me!
The oncoming comet was getting dangerously close.
One thump, two thump, crack! The door was forced opened and slammed down onto the ground.
Oh, shit not now...move leg, please move!
He manages to fumble his way out of the outhouse with his wobbly legs.
BOOOOOOOOOOM!
Like a comet from the sky, the violet star was now clearly visible in front of the shaken young man with his pants half pulled up.
The purple flame incinerated everything within its radius, burning the flesh right off his body.
