Love again, Pain again

6

      February 29, 2016. Definitely the hardest time of my life. It was the part of my life when people would tell me one little thing and I would over think it and make it a big deal. Like there is this one guy named James. I had 5th period Spanish with him. Everyday, every single day he would tell me I'm a whore, slut or hoe. How would you feel if the only words that came out of that guys mouth was words that tear you down.
      It was pretty much a normal day at school. A little laughter here and there but 5th period came. I couldn't handle it anymore. I couldn't handle James telling me all this shit about me that I already knew. He would crumble me up and spit on me every day. I couldn't take any more of his crap.
      That night after school, I ran into my bathroom and just sat on the floor and cried for hours. I kept thinking to myself," why am I here, if the only person who loves me is in Heaven? " I remember feeling so unwanted and so unloved for. I grabbed my knife and just held it.
         Then Tanner and Jake texted me. They were just asking to see what was up. I couldn't bare but tell them the pain I was in. All I remember was telling Tanner and Jake how much I wanted to kill myself. How much I wanted to be far, far away from James. How much I knew I would be more loved for in a different place. I kept repeating," I'm going to hurt myself, and if I'm lucky, maybe I'll die " Tanner freaked out. He was trying to tell me to stop but I couldn't. I couldn't stop staring at my knife wishing it would make the last cut int my heart that so many boys already started.
      I heard a knock on the door," ANGGIE GET OUT NOW!!" I could tell my mom was pissed but also scared. I put the knife in the bathtub and ran to open the door," ANGGIE THE POLICE ARE HERE TO SEE YOU! " as I heard that I thought," Tanner " Tanner was the only person I could think about. I knew Tanner called the police. As I walked to the front of my house I could see the flashing blue and red lights out the window and my mom and dad crying on the front porch. I was thinking," what the hell did I just do." The nice police came to hug me and she asked me," ANGGIE, are you okay?" I said yes. I meant no though.
       After that I had to go to counciling lessons at school. None of my teachers looked at me the same way. I was the girl who was about to kill her self.