Narry Drabbles

Insecure

Harry scrolled through his twitter feed, knowing that he really shouldn't right now but he just couldn't stop himself. It had been a bad day for him. People were constantly telling him that his singing was a bit out of tune and that he should interact more with the fans and that he should really stop wearing those too tight jeans because they make him look 'gay'. 

Harry listened to the silence in his apartment, the silence he had craved for when another person told him he wasn't good enough. His head had been spinning when he came home after a long day and he only wanted to be alone and cry. He wanted to take a hot shower and crawl into his bed and forget the world even exists. But of course he couldn't do that, no he had to practice that one note he couldn't reach yet, he had to work on those songs because the new album was almost ready to be released. There was just simply no time for wallowing in selfpity even if that was really the only thing he wanted now. 

And somehow he had ended up half laying on the couch with his phone in his hand and his thumb mindlessly swiping over his iPhone-screen, watching how all the hatefull comments rolled past. Without even noticing, he began to cry and not the silent-crying but the frustrated-crying. The crying that included broken sobs and raspy whines. He was frustrated because he wanted to be good enough and he knew that he was good enough, he just didn't know how to show people that he was a good person and that he meant it well and that he really did have a big heart. He wasn't how the media represented him.

Before thinking about it, Harry had typed in the familiar number of his best friend and band mate, Niall Horan. The cute one, the funny one, the care-free one. The boy that didn't give a shit about what people said about him. Sometimes Harry wished he was like Niall. He somehow looked up to Niall and maybe that's why he was calling him now and not one of the other boys. Niall knew how Harry could get sometimes and he knew how to calm him down and comfort him. And that was just what he needed right now.

''Harry! How are you, mate!'' The cheerfull voice made Harry's tears stream faster.

''I-I'm not really okay,'' he admitted, trying to keep his voice steady and strong.

He knew he had failed when Niall's cheery voice changed into a concerned one.

''Harry? Harry, where are you? I'll be with you in a few minutes. Stay calm,'' Harry heard some rustling on the other side of the line and figured that Niall was putting on shoes and a coat.

''I'm home, please hurry,'' Harry knew he sounded desperate and he hated it. But he really needed Niall now, there was really no point in denying that.  

''Don't worry, give me a few minutes. See you soon.'' Before Harry had time to answer, Niall had already ended the phone call. Harry threw his phone to the other side of the room, not wanting to deal with any of the hate anymore. He curled up in a ball on his couch and waited for Niall to barge into his apartment. 

A wave of relief washed over him when he heard the rustle of keys and a door opening. Before he knew it Niall's arms were around him and holding his body close to his chest. Harry wriggled his arms free and raised them to wrap them around Niall's neck, pulling him down. Harry let his tears stream freely, choking on his own breath while he tried to get as close to Niall as possible. 

After a few minutes, Harry felt like he had run out of tears. All the energy was drained from his body and he was fully leaning on Niall now. Niall was playing with Harry's curls with slow motions. A calm atmosphere settled itself in the room and suddenly everything didn't seem so bad anymore. And maybe that was partly (mostly) because Niall was now drawing lazy paterns on Harry's back and it just felt so good and it was so nice to be so close to Niall. 

Harry carefully raised his head from where it had been tucked in Niall's neck and looked at his best friend and without even registering, he planted a featherly light kiss in Niall's rosy cheek. Niall rolled his head to look at Harry and smiled softly. 

''Are you okay now?'' Niall asked while brushing a stray curl behind Harry's ear.

''Yeah... I-I think I'm okay,'' he nuzzled his nose in Niall's cheek and kissed it again. ''Thank you.''

''I'm always here for you, Harry. You know that right?'' Niall continued after Harry had nodded. ''You can always come to me when something's bothering you. Promise me you'll come to me when something's bothering you,'' Niall looked at a tired Harry with pleading eyes.

Harry nodded again. It was silent after that. Niall tightened his arms around Harry and closed his eyes while rubbing his cheek against Harry's lovingly. Harry was glad Niall didn't ask questions, he was glad Niall just accepted that Harry needed comfort. He'd explain it later and Niall knew that. 

''Niall?'' 

''Yeah?''

''I love you,'' Harry was brave enough to look Niall in the eyes while he said the words. He hoped Niall would understand that he actually loved him. Not as a brother, but as a lover. And Harry knew that Niall had understood it when he saw Niall's cheeks turn bright red. 

''I-I love you, too,'' he answered shakily.

''I'm going to kiss you now,'' Harry announced while leaning in.

''Yeah...'' Niall trailed off when Harry got closer and closer. 

And as their lips touched, Niall sucked in a breath and nugded Harry's lips hesitantly. It almost felt like his first kiss all over again but it was so much better. Harry tangled his fingers with Niall's blindly and kissed Niall's lips until he had to pull away, gasping for oxigen. 

''Thank you,'' Harry muttered again.

''My pleasure,'' Niall placed a peck on Harry's red lips and cuddled Harry's body closer to his own, still in shock that he had just kissed Harry and they both totally enjoyed it. 

And maybe that's what Harry really needed. Someone by his side who would always be there for him. He didn't know what his future would bring him but he felt strong with Niall next to him. He felt like the hate was just that little negative thing about an amazing job and so many positive things balanced it out. And one of those positive things was Niall, who was now holding him and kissing him and loving him. And, yes, that was really all he ever needed. 

[This turned out longer than I expected... Oh well]