A Werewolfs Regret

Chapter 4 - Isolation

My determination to run as fast as my legs could carry me had faded the moment I had bumped into him.

Jolts of sensation made its way in waves where I had just accidentally made contact with him. Skin to skin contact with the alpha was something that had to be avoided, however it was too late now. My body could not ignore the awareness of the electric pulses still prominent throughout my entirely small frame. By touching, we had completed another stage of the mate bond. How could I let this happen? Our bond was immensely stronger now. He'd find me easier if I was to ever manage to escape. My proneness to making rash decisions had caused me yet another predicament. My plan would be more carefully planned out next time.

My 'mate' looked better than he looked this morning. He was sweaty. I could still see the droplets of water on his face and chest. He must have just come back from a run. He was so close. He was a very tall man and built too. I couldn't deny the fact that his body was pure muscle. I could see that he had light but deep brown eyes. I hadn't noticed that before. It matched his light, thick caramel hair that slightly fell in front of his face.

He looked at me in confusion while cautiously taking three lengthy steps backwards.

Now he's keeping his distance from me? It might be easier to rid myself of this apha than I perceived. However, How foolish and immensely idiotic. It's a little late! If he kept space from the start we wouldn't be in this current dilemma. I don't know what changed his mind but that was the least of my concerns. I would just wait for him to pleasantly reject so I could therefore carry on with my day. I could possibly wait and get the train tomorrow morning or I could run home since it wasn't too late.  I would need a lengthy holiday after this. Or, I could -

"I just don't want you to faint again that's all" the alpha explained bringing out of my thoughts. He held his hand in the air in a sort of surrendering notion while over emphasising each word that he spoke.

"Sorry?" I asked undenyingly confused in low raspy voice. 

"I'll be keeping my distance but only a small amount for a few days to ease you into things. It hurts me everytime I see you collapse."

"You and me both, buddy" I replied evidently.  Losing consciousness was a new and painful custom that this mate had triggered within me. There still wasn't nearly enough between us.

He chuckled slightly. "You're awake anyways! Have you eaten? Food?" He asked looking hopeful. The poor thing had hope. I would try and entertain his optimism until I secure an efficient disappearance.  

"Yes, please" I answered following him back inside with Sapphire trailing close by. "My brother? He's still around?" I questioned while finding it difficult to grasp every word.  He looked dazzled. Maybe since, i'd chosen to speak to him voluntarily. I felt like he was still too close to me.

"Yes, he is but he's not in the building. He's in a cottage about five minutes away. He's with his mate now. He said that he'd use this as a chance to take a little holiday. If you leave the compound, you'll surely bump into him. He told me to tell you that" He admitted.

I couldn't leave now. Could I? If my brother found me outside the compound, I couldn't run past him. He'd most likely lock me up with my mate for good.  

He arrived back in the kitchen with same crowd of people still present. Sapphire sat on a wooden stool while I followed sync taking a seat where I had just sat merely 10 minutes ago.

"I'm presuming you ate the Carbonara that I left for you in the fridge" he questioned while I nodded in response. I knew I had just eaten but my stomach still felt empty. "Great! I hoped you'd like it since I used extra cheddar cheese. Your brother said something about you liking that. Any specific requests this time? Lasagne, Maybe?" He offered.

"I don't mind" I whispered not once making eye contact. So he could cook. Interesting. I love cheese. Always have, always will. If I knew he had prepared the meal for me I most likely would not have put it in my mouth. It puzzled me where he'd find the time. I couldn't imagine being a murdering rampager wouldn't leave much time for such hobbies.

Nothing else was said for a few minutes. Everyone, me in particular seemed content with the silence.

I noticed that we had the whole watching us. Every interaction between us being examined specifically. I noticed that Kimi did not do as told as she sat freely in her seat not having moved an inch and instead her mate Aidan sat by her side caressing her back.  He looked up me for a second ashamed before letting his head hang low again.

"So, what were you doing outside. It seemed like you were in a rush" he queried ebulliently trying to make conversation.

He mustn't have known that I was trying to run.  I scrambled my brain for a reasonable explanation. I was forced to suppress my moral habit of telling the truth.

I continued to look down while he continued to question my past actions. " I...em.. I was just. Oh, em -" My unintentional babbling was put to a hold with his next words.

"Never mind I think I figured it out." He said with a weary expression and heavy sigh as he continued to prepare the meal.

He had figured me out. I was in trouble now. I was surprised that I had not been punished the second I woke up from unconsciousness. Maybe,  he was waiting till we were alone. Therefore there would be no witnesses.

"Sorry Alpha and to you especially Luna. She ran out because of me, Xavier. I said some words I shouldn't have said to both my mate and Luna. I will accept any punishment that you feel fit. Honestly, I don't know what came over me. I guess the thought of losing your mate can make you do anything." Aidan announced with head down.

"Make sure I see you in my office later . It was your Luna that you offended. She will decide." He growled while viciously glaring at Aidan.

The alpha's growl frightened me. I stood up from my seat as a result with my hands placed on my chest in front of my overly beating heart. I was beginning to feel dizzy again. I stood still for a second as I tried to force my heart to slow down. It was such an extremely villainous tone.

I didn't feel like it was Aidans fault. I would have ran out eventually.  "It's ok Aidan. No harm done." I let out looking at his direction but not directly at him. 

"I'm not sure if i'm that hungry anymore. I think, if it's okay that I'm going to go to bed now." I exclaimed heading towards the door not looking to anyone for approval. I had no doubt that all eyes were on me "Goodnight". With that said, I left.

"I'm sorry, if I scared you. I didn't mean too" was all I could hear as I had my way out the door and up the stairs. I noticed his voice was strained. I could hear the weakness from him. It tugged at my heart. Did I feel slightly bad for the man? I didn't want a mate but still had feelings for people in general. Depression was something that I would never intentionally cause someone. If he found himself another mate and she, the prey, was intent with it, I wouldn't mind. As long as I was out of the picture, he could please himself as he wished.

Walking away seemed harder than I had imagined. The alphas vicious growl echoed uninterrupted in my mind mentally with every step I took.

Finally, I'd found the room I'd slept in that morning. I imagined being alone would lift my mood however I didn't feel better, I only felt worse. Hot tears leaked from my eyes and I cried silently till there was no tears left. I didn't feel the need to do anything else. My body was so restless. Loud endless sobs shed through my body as I climbed into the gigantic bed and I let out a painful breath until I eventually fell asleep.

A/N
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