our fate // jjk

• Suicidal •

"Let's look." Jungkook said, guiding me back to the bathroom.

I let him take initiative, as his eyes scanned the test. I saw him gulp deeply and close his eyes.

Out of relief?

Out of worry?

I didn't know.

"W-What do they say?"

He stayed silent.

"J-Jungkook."

When he didn't respond, I ran over and looked at the results myself.

First test: Negative

Second test: Negative

My mouth hung open in surprise: I wasn't pregnant.

Jungkook looked up at me and smiled wide. He embraced me and a few tears escaped my eyes.

"I love you." He said into my ear for comfort.

I broke the hug and walked to the bedroom, plopping my body on the bed. Jungkook joined me and caressed my head.

"This is good." He mumbled sincerely.

I gave a weak and sarcastic smile before turning my back on him.

"Babe?" He called out.

"Maya," he sighed, "talk to me."

"W-Why did one test read positive?" I asked in a shaky voice as I was now crying.

He turned me around and held my head to his chest so I could hear his heartbeat.

"Those test aren't 100% trustable, that one was wrong." He said, trying to not make me cry more.

"B-But what if something is growing inside of me? A-And it's so early on that the other tests couldn't detect it?"

"Maya, if you were pregnant, all the tests would say so." He reassured me.

I nodded in agreement, despite my hesitations.

"Everything will be alright." He said and kissed my lips deeply. His hands roamed my body and unclasped the back of my bra swiftly.

"J-Jungkook." I uttered out softly.

His lips traveled down my neck, leaving marks.

"Stop."

I was losing control and a small moan escaped my mouth.

"P-Please stop!" I yelled and finally pushed him off me, before storming out of his room.

My hand covered my face, trying to hold in all the tears, all the emotions... But it didn't work.

A waterfall fell from my eyes. My heart sunk and the pain was unbearable.

I went outside and got in my car. I didn't know where to go, but I didn't want to be here. I hastily drove out of his driveway and got on the highway.

I pulled over by one of the bridges that overlooked the city. It was now night time and lights sparkled the water beneath me.

I walked to the edge of the road. There wasn't many cars, so it was quite peaceful.

I watched the calm water and felt the night breeze hit my cheek.

What was I doing with my life?

I'm a senior in highschool,
I shouldn't be worrying about whether or not I'm pregnant.

Right as I thought about it, I hunched over in pain. Seconds later, I vomited a thick and warm substance. I couldn't tell if it was my breakfast or not, but my stomach continued to churn.

I yelped in pain as it felt like I was being stabbed from the inside.

What could I do? I was now a balling mess on the side of a bridge.

I wasn't sure if Jungkook really loved me.

I wasn't sure why I was in pain.

And I wasn't sure what to do anymore.

Lost and confused, I walked to the edge of the bridge. Maybe I shouldn't even live anymore. Nobody loves me and I'm just a failure. I'm just a dirty whore who's screwed her life.

My confidence quickly dropped and I felt even more like shit than before.

"Goodbye world." I said, slowly scooching my feet closer to the drop.

I took what I thought was my last breath as a whirlwind of thoughts surrounded me.

This is it I thought and started to jump.

"Maya!"