Scarred

4. Home

Dan

Whenever Phil came to visit me, I experienced a feeling I hadn't been feeling in a while: happiness.
For eighteen years I didn't have a best friend, but here he was: sitting next to me in a hospital bed, holding my hand and watching Shrek with me.

It was undescribable how glad I was that I had met Phil, but I couldn't help but think I might be feeling more for him than just friendship.

 

In the week that followed, he kept visiting me three times a day. We watched a lot more of his Dvd's and even played a few videogames.

Even if we didn't do anything at all, time passed way too quick when he was with me. I never wanted him to leave. When he was here, I forgot about everything else. It was just us two.

But when he left, my dark thoughts returned in my mind, telling me I could still end my life any moment. No one was watching, I could just open the window...

No.

I couldn't do that. Not now I had finally found Phil.

 

The doctor unwrapped the bandages around my head. Today, I could go home.

Phil sat next to me, holding my hand. "How bad is it?" I asked when the doctor was finished unwrapping.

"You look a lot hotter without your mummy costume," Phil said and smiled.

I blushed. "Shut up," I said, laughing.

Laughing. I was actually laughing. Before Phil it had been such a long time since I laughed that it still felt a little weird when I did.

"Shall I bring you home?" Phil asked.

Home. What even was home?

"Dan?" Phil waved with his hand in front of my face. "Are you okay?"

"Uh... yeah," I said, "yeah, I am."

Phil looked concerned. "You can stay with me for a while if you want to."

"Okay," I said awkwardly. "I only have to make a phone call."

I took my phone out of my pocket and dialed my mum's number.

"Hello?" I heard her voice.

"Hi mum. Thanks for visiting me in the hospital," I said. It was impossible to say it more sarcastically than I just had done.

"Dan... I was at work," she said.

"Yeah, right. Twentyfour seven?"

"No, but I had things to do..."

Pathetic excuses, I thought. I don't need you. I have found someone else. "I guess this proves how important I am as your 'son'. I am allowed to go home now, but don't worry, I have found a place to stay." I hung up.

Phil looked at me with his big blue eyes. "Are you okay?" he asked again.

I took a deep breath and nodded. "The reason why my parents didn't visit me, is because they can't," I said. Phil looked confused, but I guessed it was time that I should tell him. "My mum died when I was four years old. My dad quickly remarried after her death. The woman he married didn't really care about me, only about my dad. When my father died in a car accident two months ago, she didn't care about me at all. We didn't talk for days, but..." My voice trailed off. "So now you know."

"Oh, Dan, I'm so sorry!" Phil exclaimed and hugged me all of a sudden in the middle of the hallway.

 

"I'm sorry if it's a bit messy in here," Phil said before opening the door of his apartment. I stepped inside and it was a bit messy indeed, but also very cozy. The weird thing was that I just entered his apartment, but it already felt like home.

"It's actually really nice," I said while looking around. I saw an old looking piano in the corner of the living room.

"I didn't know you can play piano," I said, surprised.

Phil laughed. "I can't. It's actually just for decoration." He looked at me, and asked: "Can you? Play piano?"

"I used to."

"Can you play something?" he asked.

"I can try." I walked over to the piano and sat down on a chair. As soon as my fingers touched the keys, the room was filled with music. I belong to you by Muse. It was one of my favourite songs.

 

When I finished the song, I felt Phil hug me from behind.

"That was beautiful," he whispered in my ear. I turned my head and looked in his eyes. Phil bent a little forward and I pressed my lips against his.