Scarred

1. Hospital

Dan

I woke up in the hospital, laying in a large white bed. As soon as I opened my eyes, I thought back to last night's events.

I had tried to commit suicide with my dad's gun. Just as I pulled the trigger, my mum came in and called 112. Unfortunately, the doctors could save me. I had failed my chance to escape this disgusting world.

I sighed and tried to sit up straight in bed. Bad choice, bad choice...

"Argh, my head," I muttered and reached for my head. I felt it was wrapped with bandages. Great. I must look like a mummy.

"Hi!"

I looked beside me, a little startled; I hadn't noticed there was someone laying in the bed next to mine. It was a boy who must have been a little older than me with pitch black hair and bright blue eyes.

"Hi," I replied, a little awkward.

"I'm Phil," he said, "Phil Lester."

"Uhm... Dan Howell." It couldn't be more awkward. He seemed like a nice guy though, so I asked: "What have you done to end up here?"

He laughed and threw off his blanket. His right leg was covered in a plaster cast.

Without knowing or even thinking what I was doing, my eyes looked at the rest of his body. He was only wearing yellow boxershorts.

"I'm a very clumsy person. I fell off the stairs and broke my leg," Phil said while covering his body with his blanket again. "What about you?"

I looked down, too ashamed to look at him. "I tried to commit suicide," I said. It was almost a whisper.

"Oh," was Phil's answer. "I'm sorry, Dan."

"It's okay," I said, looking back at him. I tried to smile. I didn't feel okay, but I didn't want to make him feel guilty about asking. "I pulled the trigger when my mum came in. She called 112. Next thing I know is waking up here five minutes ago."

"I'm sorry," he said again.

"Don't worry. I'll be fine."

I knew I wasn't going to be fine. As soon as I could, I would take my chance and try it again. I would leave this world forever.

I couldn't sleep that night. Phil had been really shocked when I told him about my failed attempt of suicide. I could see it in his eyes and I knew when I said I was okay he wasn't someone to be fooled. I knew he just saw right through my mask of fake smiles.

I wasn't okay. I felt alone. Useless. Broken. Never good enough. No one understood me. And no one cared.

I stepped out of bed, and walked towards the window. I saw our room was on the tenth floor. Good.

I opened the window and felt a cold breeze in my face. I looked down and just as I was about to sway my legs over the window frame, I heard someone scream my name.

"Dan! Dan, what are you doing?" I recognized Phil's voice.

Before I could do or say something, I felt a hand grab my shoulder pulling me backwards. I fell on my back on the ground and I saw a right leg with a plaster cast beneath me. I tried to get up as quick as possible.

"I'm so sorry, Phil," I said while I helped him get up as well. He limped to his bed and sat down.

"Don't apologize to me, Dan," he said, "You should apologize to yourself."

"I'm really sorry if I hurt your leg," I said, but he ignored it. Instead, he said: "Why, Dan? Why do you want to end your life so badly?"

I sat down on my own bed. "I hate my life, Phil. I hate everything about myself and the worst thing is, no one cares about me."

"I care about you, Dan."

I looked up at him and met his blue eyes. "How can you care about someone you have just met?"

Silence.

Then, Phil said: "Your life can't be that miserable, Dan. I don't believe that."

"Have you seen my parents here? They don't care about me. Have you seen my friends? No, because I don't have any," I snapped, but instantly felt guilty. Phil didn't deserve this. "I'm sorry, I..."

"It's okay," Phil replied before I could say any more. He patted on his bed, and I sat down next to him.

Before I knew what happened, I felt two arms around me, hugging me tightly.

It had been long since someone hugged me and I had forgotten how nice and comforting it felt. But it was the first time I felt like someone loved me. Cared about me.

A tear streamed down my face as I wrapped my arms around Phil.

"I'm going to make sure you see how wonderful life is, Dan Howell, even if it's the last thing I do."