Suddenly I realized that I don't have any contact with my father. I miss him so much that I started to cry. Every night I think of him, but I don't let it affect my everyday life. But now it does affect me every single day. It still breaks my heart the way he reacted. All I wanted was to let him know who I am. If only I could change his mind to let him think it is normal to be gay. I tried not to let it affect me that much so I started to write a song about it. I poured my heart out, let all my emotions go in to that song. While I was writing it I cried and thought why, why does it have to be this way. After two hours locked up in my office at home, the song was finished. I showed it to Kevin, asking for his thoughts on the song. He told me that it was very good and that I also should compose the music for it. I was happy he liked the song and I started to look online for music production software. I found one and I started to take music production courses. After 3 months I graduated from the course and I started to buy some equipment to make sure I could make it as a single. I bought a microphone, a midi-keyboard to make the melody, a microphone standard and lots more. I installed everything and I was ready to produce the track and singing the song. When the track was done, I recorded the song and mixed the track and made it into a song. My song was finished. I had to do a lot of things before I could publish it to the U-Music store. Once it was released, I told everyone about the song. They told their friends and they told their friends and my song became popular. A famous director contacted me to make a music video for the song and that's what we did. I told him my idea and we shot the video in 1 day. The music video premiered a week after the shoot and it was aired on TV and on the internet. Now it was me hoping that my father will see the video and hear the song. I never knew if he did. Somewhere in mind I thought that he saw the video and he heard the song, but he didn't know it was me. I knew that if he would hear the song, he would know that the song is about him. Days went by and I haven't heard from him. Does he want to talk to me? Does he even want to see me? I will never know.
