Monster ⇎ Jim Kirk [On Hold]

5

One minute I held the key
Next the walls were closed on me

Viva La Vida; Coldplay

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Two Weeks later

The whole main crew knew all of Jim's struggles. McCoy kept it a secret long as Jim wasn't a very large danger to himself, but once he became one, he needed to tell others to keep an eye out. Jim had been staying in sickbay, only allowed to wear short sleeves. Going to work in those short sleeves for the first time was another story.

When Jim had first walked onto the bridge with his arms bare, everyone glanced over like normal. Only this time, pained expressions suddenly filled the room. All of the deep, dirty cuts that littered Jim's arms were now visible. The man was a pale color to begin with, so the red and purple injuries were prominently shown.

Uhura stood up from her station, taking a few cautious steps towards her captain. Jim gave her a slight smile, shrugging and glancing down at his arms. She pulled him into a hug, running her hand gently through his dirty blonde hair. He hugged her back, welcoming the fact that someone finally thought to comfortingly hold him.

"Captain, I recommend that when you feel like injuring yourself with something, you come talk to one of us. That is not a good sight for anyone to see, it is both ugly and painful." Spock simply stated, implying his thoughts of caring emotions towards the captain. Jim nodded to him, smiling a small, fake smile once again.

Over the past couple weeks, Jim had been getting better. Slowly and slightly, but it had been two days since he actually physically hurt himself. McCoy had put up a calendar and a thermometer for Jim. Both seemed childish and small, but they did work. Every time Jim hurt himself, he would put a red 'X' on the day he did. If he didn't hurt himself, he put a green circle. The thermometer was for him to move an arrow up and down. If he was having a bad and upsetting day, he moved the arrow up to the higher end of the thermometer. Good day, down to the lower one.

<--------->

"Bones, I know you disapprove strongly of this, but I need to go on this mission. The race on the planet refuses to speak to anyone besides the captain, and I'm the captain. I need to go." Jim begged, following McCoy around sickbay like a little kid. McCoy turned around, stopping the man dead in his tracks.

"Jim, I will make you a deal. It is your job that you participate in missions and peace offerings with new races. I can't keep you from that unless it's incredibly severe. You can go on this one mission, but you can not under any circumstance go to work for a week after. Understood?" McCoy firmly told him, beginning to scan Jim with the scanner he had been holding. Jim stood tall and strong, the way he was taught to in the academy.

"Yes sir, I understand." Jim nodded, taking a step back for the scans to fully see his body. McCoy looked up, meeting eyes with his captain. Jim was sincere, true to his word.

"Good luck Jim, if you get hurt or start to freak out, come back immediately." McCoy added, giving Jim a little pat on the shoulder. Jim didn't even know what happened before he pulled the doctor into a hug, muttering words of thanks over and over. McCoy didn't have the heart to push Jim away, he only left the embrace when Jim did.

"Mhm, excuse that Bones, please. Just... really needed a hug..." Jim muttered, unable to control sounding like a kid. McCoy couldn't help but to feel his heart warm a little at the sight of a well respected man so innocently small.

"It's alright Jim, go to the mission before I change my mind." McCoy replied, unable to muster the words to reply to what had actually happened. It wasn't bad that Jim had hugged him, it was just a strange thing that was unexpected.

Jim nodded, going into his sickbay room. He put on a long sleeved yellow shirt, the sleeves slightly stained a darker color from the blood a few weeks back. The one when he collapsed on the bridge, right in front of Starfleet officials. The skin had been ripped away by his own fingernails, flesh torn from flesh.

It sickened him to see his scars, yet he couldn't stop himself from doing it. Jim glanced around the room, sighing deeply. This had been his home for almost a month, many freedoms deprived from him. He could only shave once a week, only alone with a razor for twelve minutes. When he was finished, he had to set the razor on a sensory pad that knew the difference between the razor itself and something else.

"Let's do this." Jim told himself, looking into his icy blue eyes through a mirror. His features looked more sunken and tired than the healthy man he once recognized as himself. Weight had drastically been lost, his stomach was beginning to sink in and show his ribs much more.

<---------->

The planet was full of vast jungles, vines and tree roots twisting together into an intertwined web. Greens and browns filled everyone's sights, all different shades and textures of color. The yellow, blue, and red shirts of the crew were very visible in this environment.

"Where to, Spock?" Jim asked, looking around for any kind of structure. Nothing was in sight besides trees and green, a small babbling crook twisted around the leather boots of some of the crew members.

"Sir, it says the life forms are around us. There is many possibilities of what the life forms can be, plants, animals, bugs, amphibians-" Spock began to ramble, but he soon collapsed. The crew collapsed in drones, each person slumping to the ground.

Jim looked to his left, noticing as a light green figure jump from a tree. A tube was brought to his mouth, something blown through it. Jim began to feel his vision turn black, he slowly collapsed to the ground. The last image he saw through tunnel vision was a light green woman, gold and black eyes. Dark, curly long hair. Jim coughed just slightly before losing consciousness completely once again.

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This one was longer than my usual sorry!!!
Hope everyone liked this chapter! Next chapter we get to meet the OC that is Jim's love interest! Don't worry, they won't instantly fall in love or magically cure him. This is a short story and between each chapter will be a few week time skip. It may seem like it's moving fast, but it is just because there is weeks between chapters.
You'll see what I mean later on. Feel free to comment and vote, I love it!