Crazy

Chapter 15: By Myself

***Three weeks later.****

I've had nights were Dean wouldn't lay with me and I've had time to think and all my emotions got to me. I felt as if he was drifting away. I had a thought of considering myself to move out. I've been confined. I've forgotten about my friends, family, and practically who I was before. But I was told I can never go back, I risk putting them in danger. When you choose this life you restart and take a new route. I miss them so bad though. Maybe I can just find an aprtment and work as a Secretary... I took a big breath and wiped my eyes and covered up. Another night.... alone.

*****

I woke up and went to the bathroom. I looked In the mirror and saw myself. I got in the shower and got myself ready to go out for a bit. I put some makeup on and a nice outfit. I opened the door and went out. I drove to the small to just look around and maybe get something. I went in Victoria Secrets first, I looked at the bras. I had to get me a couple pairs. Then I thiught might as well get pantys. I chose some pretty and sexy things and paid for them. I got a fresh baked pretzel and sat on the bench. A few minutes passed and I heard someone "is it ok if I sit here?" I looked over to a guy pointing to the bench seat beside me. It was a guy. "Yeah, go ahead." He smiled at me and sat down. I smiled back and looked away. He was really good looking.

"I'm Mike." He held out his hand. "Courtney." I shook his hand. He looked ahead was quiet. He turned back around to me, "I'm sorry- I couldn't help but sit, your just really pretty." He said and his face turned rosey. I giggled "Thanks." I said. I didn't expect him to say that. "You from around here?" He asked. "I have been here almost a year now." He nodded. "You?" I asked wondering. "Yeah, I grew up originally around Floridia, but moved to this place when I lost my family in a house fire. I was about 16." I felt his pain. "I'm so sorry." Maybe I shouldn't of asked. "Its ok. Its been awhile." I shook my head. "You planning on being out anymore today?" He looked at me. "Yeah. I was gonna go to the bar actually after this." He smiled "Would you want a buddy along with ya? " he asked. "Sounds fun. " I said. I had butterflys in my stomache. I've never been this flirty, usually I hold back and am shy. "Well how about maybe four or so?" I nodded yes. "Ok. See ya." He got uo and went to walk away. "Oh yeah." He turned around, "what's your number?" He asked. I totally forgot. "Oh yeah sorry." I got my phone out. He handed his phone for me to type mine in his. He took mine and we exchanged numbers. We finished. "Ok see you later." I said and smiled at him before turning around and headed to go hime and get ready. I am really excited. I put my stuff in my truck and went home.

*******

I put on casual clothes and my new bra and underwear. I felt pretry. I added some simple makeup with my hair in a sloppy bun. I grabbed my little purse and walked into the kitchen. The guys were in there munching on food. I haven't been cooking since they haven't been around much. I went eight past them and got a water bottle. I looked in the hallway mirror and put lip gloss on. I saw the guys looking at me and Dean stareing me down. I got gum and popped it in my mouth. I threw the wrapper away, "what are you doing?" Dean asked. "I'm going out to the bar with a friend." I wasn't going to say guy. All hell would brake lose. But its the truth. Nothing else. "What about dinner?" He asked. "Have you forgot how to take care of yourselves before I even got here?" I said getting irritated. He looked pissed because I raised my voice. "What's wrong? You think you can go and do anything you want, whenever??!" He said. Sam and Kevin were at the other side of the table." I was pissed now. "I can do whatever I want to do Dean Winchester! You haven't been careing for me for awhile now so I'm done. You can return back to normal life. I told you it would never work! I want a life other than sitting in these walls and doing nothing. You've forgotten about me Dean. I don't know how you could but you did!" He walked in a little turn around circle. "I have been busy trying to save all of our asses and keeping us safe!" He said pissed off. "So are you leaving?" He asked. Not careing. "I guess so since you don't care anymore." I turned around to go and he grabbed my arm and pushing me into the wall. "Let go of me!!" I yelled I pulled my arm and he wouldn't let go. Sam got up, "Dean!!" Dean let go and I fell. He looked at Sam. "What the hell Dean?" He asked and grabbed his arm. I was still in the floor shocked. I wiped my face and felt wetness. I looked at my hand. Blood. Dean jerked his hand away and went off somewhere. Sam went after him. I tried holding the tears back. Kevin got up and held his hand out for me to grab and get up. I got up and ran to the bathroom. I grabbed a wash cloth and wiped away the blood. I busted my lip a little. I made sure I didn't cry and rubbed my arm were he grabbed me. It hurt some but I was fine. But what the hell made him go off? Something is definitely wrong. But I have to leave, I don't belong here anymore. I fixed myself up and headed off to the bar. Mike texted me.

Mike: "Everything ok?"
Me: "yeah I got in a hassle but I'm almost there."
Mike: "oh ok. See you."

I got there and walked in. Mike was sitting and waiting for me. He looked around and saw me. I smiled and walked over. "Well you look stunning." He said. "Thanks, you do too." I said smiling. I grinned. "I'll have a beer." He said and turned to me. "Margaritas." The bartender made one and handed it to me. Mike paid for my drink. "Thank you." I said. He just smiled. "So were do you work?" He asked. "I'm not exactly working right at the moment." I didn't know what to say. "Ooh ok." He said and stood up. "Do you?" I asked. We walked to a pool table. "At a motorcycle shop." He sounded interesting. "Ooh that's nice." He geabbed a stick and handed me another. He set up the game and started. "I have no clue how to play." I said. Not knowing what to do exactly. "Here, let me help you." He put my hands on it and he leaned over me and leaned close to my ear. "You go for the solids." He said lightly in my ear. We shot and made one in. I smiled at him, "Thanks." He got up and we played. I had a few more drinks as the time went by, he did too. The music was on. I sat at the bar and watched the TV. Someone came up behind me and grabbed my hips. "Lets go dance." He grabbed my hand and pulled me to the floor. We damced for awhile and had fun with other people. It was getting late and I had way too many drinks. I went and flopped to the seats. "Are you ready to go home?" He asked sitting beside me. "Yessss." I carried it out on accident. "Well I don't think your driving. I'll take you home." I panicked. He can't find out where the bunker is. "Oh I'm fine. Just take me to a motel." He paid for the drinks. "Ok." I got up and started going down. "I have drank too much." He picked me up and took me to the truck. I leanes my head on my arm and fell asleep.

***** 20 min. Later *****

Iopened my eyes and saw him. I felt him carrying me. "Wow... am I dreaming?" I asked confused. My head thumped. "Oouucchh!" I said and leaned my head into his shoulder. I heard a door open and he laid me down on a bed. He went and shut the front door. I barely moved and he came back over and covered me up. He walked over to another bed and took off his shirt and pants. He grabbed a water bottle and drank some. I blinked and was out.

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