Where My Demons Hide

Chapter 14

     My heart felt heavy as I dragged myself to the forest, knowing I needed to say goodbye. I would, in a sense, finally get my closure with Haiden. But, I didn't feel happy about it. Not at all since things weren't supposed to turn out the way they did.

    Haiden and I weren't supposed to become enemies and I hated how we would end whatever we had because of that. I wanted to save Haiden and bring him back to the good side, but it seemed like I couldn't. The thought left me disappointed and I sighed.

     I entered the forest and went straight to our meeting spot - our old meeting spot, from five years ago. Back when he and I were best friends. Back when the world wasn't hectic. Even with my dad abusing me back then, I felt like with Haiden at my side, those days had somehow managed to be the best days of my life.

     Exhaling heavily, I soon reached the centre of the rose field and I sat down on the log. I felt oddly confident that Haiden would come here to see me. After our last encounters, I knew Haiden did want to see me. Our old friendship had a hold on him too and my heart ached as I knew I had to end things right before Haiden and I could get close again.

    Suddenly, I heard footsteps and I looked to the entrance of the rose field. Haiden was there and to my suprise, I found myself smiling at him. Seeing him here, walking towards me made me so happy. So happy it hurt beause this would be the last time we'd see each other as friends.

    "Is Lydia okay?" I asked, knowing that had been bothering me.

    "Yes, she's fine," Haiden said, stopping in front of me. "She's almost fully healed."

    I nodded, knowing werewolves healed fast. I was thankful for that at the moment, knowing any human wouldn't have survived a bullet and cut to a leg. With that much blood lost, death should've been inevitable.

     "You seem down," Haiden commented, his eyes growing soft. "What's wrong?"

    "You were right," I said, sighing as I looked down. "We're enemies."

    A brief silence passed between us and I knew Haiden was registering what I meant. My eyes couldn't help but tear up, knowing he had been right. Everyone had been right, except naive little me. I felt horrible and useless.

    "You're guardians finally told you what they are, didn't they?" Haiden asked. "And I'm guessing they asked you to join?"

    "Yup, you were right," I said bitterly.

    "Did you join?"

    I looked up and looked straight into his eyes. His face was expressionless, but his eyes expressed something I didn't expect. Something I would never have expected, which made everything worse. What I saw was pain.

    "I did," I said, forcing the words out. "You're right. We're enemies now."

    "You joined the demon hunters," Haiden said, seeming stunned. "I... I didn't think you'd be into that."

    "I didn't have much of a choice. Blake forced me."

    "Your boyfriend?" He looked away, seeming uneasy. "Why would he force you?"

    "I don't know." I frowned, realizing I didn't know why he forced me. "He just did."

    "Some boyfriend," he muttered, causing me to smile sadly.

    Blake was some boyfriend. Things had been tense between us ever since he threatened me to join and I had been happy about that. I didn't want to be around Blake anymore. He wasn't the guy who became my best friend. Laughing bitterly, I realized none of my best friends turned out to be the guys they made me think they were.

    "What?" Haiden asked, frowning.

    "Who would've thought this is what would become of us," I said, sighing. "Who would've thought we'd be fighting each other."

    "To be honest, I think it's for the best," Haiden said, surprising me.

    "What?" My jaw dropped as I became offended. "You want to be enemies with me?"

    "Well, maybe then you'll finally understand that I'm not good. I am no good for you, Luna."

    I stared at him, seeing how serious he was. Haiden truly seemed to think he was no good. It was like he wanted me to hate him, which I didn't understand. Why did Haiden keep pushing me away?

    "Why do you think you're no good for me?" I asked quietly.

    "Because look at me Luna. Really look at me and see that I'm a criminal. I'm a monster," Haiden said, his words full of honest, self-deprecation. "You're... You're too good for me. Someone like you deserves someone better to worry about."

    "What do you mean someone like me?" I whispered, heart breaking.

    "Someone as wholehearted." His eyes grew soft. "I've never met someone so kind and beautiful and... You've always been so full of light. If you stay around me, that light will dim due to my darkness."

    Haiden had never said these kind of words to me ever since he returned. These words reminded me of the old Haiden, the one who was always so honest and sincere, which left my eyes watering again. From these few words, I finally realized something.

   "You push me away to keep me safe, don't you?" I asked.

    Haiden looked away. He wouldn't answer my question, which was an answer to me. I couldn't believe it.

    "Haiden, you're still a good guy. Deep down, you are," I said gently. "If you let me help you, we can find the old you."

    "It's too late." He looked back at me, his eyes sad. "I've changed for the worse and I know it's permanent. Seriously Luna, don't stay around me. You're going to be tainted by my sins."

    "You saved me, you know that right." My eyes began to plead with his. "You can't blame me for wanting to stay at your side."

    "I don't blame you. I just wish you wouldn't. I don't deserve it. I don't desreve you in my life."

    Haiden suddenly turned around. He began to walk off, leaving me stunned. We were supposed to say goodbye. We weren't supposed to end things with all these realizations between us. But, I knew Haiden wasn't coming back. As long as he thought I was too good for him, he was going to remain hidden from me, thinking it was what's best for me.

    "I wish things were different between us," I blurted out, hoping he knew how much I wished things were.

    "I do too," Haiden said back, surprising me. "Stay safe, Luna."

    I felt a tear slip down my face because our talk had left me sadder. Knowing Haiden did care and was trying to protect me, I felt horrible. I felt like I had screwed things up between us by choosing to become a demon hunter. We were enemies now and that meant Haiden and I could no longer talk like this, if we wanted to stay safe. I hated that idea.