Surely Blue

~13~

The following day, Brayden and I didn't have much contact. Events from last night were still fresh in both of our minds.
I was doing the evening dishes when I heard footsteps walk in.
"Jacklynn," I heard the familiar voice of Andrew say.
"Get out." I state not bothering got look at him.
"Listen I talked to Ms. Brady about the adoption-"
"There is no adoption," I say with my voice slightly raising. "Just leave," I say in a strained voice.
"Just let me-"
"Leave!" I then say in a screaming voice.
Andrew huffs in anger and walks out, however my scream also brought Ms. Brady in.
"Ms. Carter outside, now," she said sternly.
I purposely drop the plate I was holding and walk out the back door, and over to my tree. I trace a line in the dirt with a stick.
It amazes me how a person can change everything. We need to realize that if one is dependent on another, conflicts will arise. No doubt. The only way to avoid that is to keep a distance. Then you don't have to worry about that pain.
Andrew's words were forever engrained in my brain, purely because I believed him. Every single word. That led to a train of thoughts with the caboose being suicidal. I didn't want to live with myself after Andrew told me what I did to my own family. However, I'm smarter that suicide.
I look up at the cloudy sky. A sudden cold breeze withered through my hair. I pull my knees for warmth. Typical, bipolar California weather.
I rest my head against the trunk of the tree, getting lost in my sea of thoughts. Something I was very good at. However, a raindrop hits my shoulder seconds later.
I look up and see the tiny droplets of water start to fall harder and harder. I quickly scurry to my window, only to find that it's locked. They must still be at breakfast.
I walk over the back door, slowly getting soaked. I start to shiver as my hand tries turning the door nob. Locked.
I pound on the door in hopes someone will hear me over the rain. Goosebumps form on my arms and legs.
I went to knock on the door again when I heard the door click open. I quickly walk inside.
"Jack, are you ok?" Brayden asks, as he closes the door behind me. "Stupid question. Here come with me." He grabbed my hand and led my down the hall.
"Your lips are purple." Brayden chuckled as a got a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt.
     I didn't say a thing in response. I went to the bathrooms and changed out of my heavy wet clothes.
      I come back into my room to find Brayden sitting on my bed with numerous amounts of blankets. I grab a couple of them and sit facing him, Indian style.
     "Feel better?" He smiles, getting comfortable. He puts his hand on top of mine. "Your still freezing," he exclaims. He wrapped another blacker around me.
     "Jack?" He then asks, noticing my lack of response. I keep my head down and avoid eye contact. "Say something," he urges.
     I get up, only taking one blanket, and sit on the window sill, away from him. I promised myself I wouldn't get attached. The price is to hard to pay.
     "Ja-" He started to say again.
     "I'm not going to get hurt again," I say in with low volume.
     "What do do you mean?" He asks in confusion getting up.
     "I don't want to get hurt. I can't handle it," I say simply turning to the window, where the rain softly patters.
     "Jack, I won't hurt you. You know tha-" he said in a calming voice.
     "No, I don't. People will stab you in the back if they had the chance," I say forcefully.
     "Where is this coming from?" He then asks, still confused.
     "Andrew came by and it's just messed me up ok," I mutter still looking out the window.
     "I'm sorry ," Brayden said sincerely.
     "Yeah, I am to," I say, barely audible. Memories from the past flood into my mind. I feel my eyebrows scrunch together as I look down and bite the inside of my cheek. I hated this.
     "Come here Jack," Brayden said, holding his arms out.
     I get up without hesitation. I'm soon engulfed into his arms. The foreign feeling of hugs suddenly came back to me. And I liked it. He was warmer than any blanket.
     "Your going to be ok. And I'll never hurt you, I promise," he whispered, with his chin resting on top of my head.
I pull out of his embrace and look into his eyes. They was nothin but sincerity in them. I want to believe him. I want to bad, but I can't. I just can't.
"Ok." I answer.