9 (feelings & babies)

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I arrived home. Hospitals made me feel beyond sick. I just got out of one to be placed in one again, once again, at the hands of my mother. Why was she the cause of everything? It's not like I have any family to run to either. I'm just here. I am stuck.

"Nylon, I'm laying Sephora here" she said quietly.

I ignored her and got under the sheets, throwing it over my head. I wanted to be far, far, far away from here. I attempted multiple times to zone out and place myself elsewhere but every time I came face to face with a monster.

My body began to violently shake so I sat up and tried breathing to control myself. I wanted to hit my head, anything to stop this disgusting feeling. I threw my head back, slamming into the headboard but I was still conscious. Sephora began crying which made things worse. Vicious flashbacks began playing in my head.

I must kill this baby.

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