Time to Give Up

My Decision

"Why... why is this happening to me? Just why...?"

Yandere-chan sniffed as she tucked her face into the pillow. She had cried for hours just to think about those things that the boys said to her, about what she was going to do to solve it.

She didn't want to do this. She didn't want to choose between them because... they were both important to her. Senpai was the one who made her heart raced, who made her able to feel love. And Shulk was the one who comforted her, who helped her cleared her mind. She wanted Senpai to be at her side, yet she wanted to keep the bond between her and Shulk.

"But... no matter I want it or not, I have to choose one of them. I can't have both."

The first one she thought about was her Senpai. The moment she first saw him couldn't go away. She gripped her chest as memories started to flow in her mind.

The first moment she saw him, she couldn't take her eyes out of him. To her, he was so charming. His black hair matched his eyes so perfectly and when the wind came by, it slightly flew along with the beautiful petals and the bright sunshine. At that moment, she could feel her heart beat fast... so fast that she had to put her hands on her chest to calm it down, and she could feel the heat started to build up at her cheeks.

At first, she didn't know why her body reacted that way, and why she had the uneasiness in her mind. But after a few days of thinking, she had gotten her answer...

It was love; she could feel love for the very first time of her life.

At first she didn't want to admit it, she wanted to ignore it, but she failed. From then, every times she saw him she lost all of her strength. She lost all of her ability to do everything. When she was with her friends, she was a strong girl with a cold heart; but when she was near him, she became a shy girl all of sudden. His charm melted her cold heart. His smile calmed her mind.

She remembered her first kill.

Flashback...

It was lunch time and she hid behind a tree, stalking Senpai like usual.

"Even when he was eating, he was still handsome to me." She mumbled to herself at the sight of him sitting at the fountain alone. Suddenly a very sweet voice came from nowhere and made her jumped slightly.

"Dipper-kun!"

"What the...!" She tried to find the owner of that voice, and she did.

A girl ran toward him, holding a lunch box. She had light brown hair with some of it were held as a half-ponytail by a big yellow bow. Yandere-chan's eyes widen when she sat next to her Senpai.

"I've been looking for you everywhere! Glad that I found you." She giggled.

"Ha ha, Madison, you're the same as always." He continued his lunch while chatting with her.

At those seconds, Yandere-chan gritted her teeth, her fists tighten.

'How... how dare she...!" That was when she could feel her blood boiled and a new expression she first experience in her life.

Rage.

She couldn't bear the thought of him being with another girl. No! She couldn't let that happened. And the only solution she thought of to do so was...

Kill her, made her existent vanished from this world.

With that thought in her mind, she took actions. That night was dark and the street was so quiet, so perfect for ...murder. As Yandere-chan hid herself behind the wall, she heard footsteps. Madison stepped closer and closer, Yandere-chan held her knife tightly.

"Ah... Dipper-kun is so handsome, I can't take my eyes out of him... I think I must confess to him soon before someone does it." She smiled and continued to walk, and at that same moment, the one who hid behind the wall grinned.

"Sorry, but you have no chance."

"Huh!?"

Then, a loud scream was heard, but they're like music to Yander-chan, the music of death. She grinned as the blood stained her uniform, the girl's eyes shot opened and the blood dripped from her knife drops by drops. She laughed, a pleasant laugh, the laugh that welcomed a soul to hell.

That beautiful night was filled with insanity and satisfaction at the same time.

End of flashback...

"I hated my old self so much. It killed so many innocent people." She mumbled against the soft pillow.

From the day she gave up on Senpai, she thought that she would have nobody for her to care about. But as days pass, she realized that she was wrong.

Those first days Shulk moved to her class, she didn't pay much attention to him, although he tried to get it. At first, she was quite annoyed by his jokes, but then she realized that those terrible jokes sometimes made her day brighten. At first she was so bad at Math, but with his helps she had improved. At first they didn't talk to each others much, but now they talked in every break times, their conversation always filled with puns and laughter...

And at first they were friends, but this decision of her would change everything.

"AH! I don't want to do this! I didn't ask for this! I just want everything to be the same as they used to! I just want to be a normal school girl! I just want to have my boy in my dream! I... I..."

Then, she cried again. Tears ran down her rosy cheeks from her red eyes. She had had enough, she couldn't take it anymore.

'No... calm down Yandere-chan. You have to calm down..." She wiped the tears from her face.

If Shulk was here, he would every word he had to comfort her until she was calmed, until she stopped crying.

Weird, when she thought about him, she felt a little hurt too. She remembered those awful puns of him, she missed the moment they shared lunch together, she recalled every minutes he taught Math to her... She missed him so much... she wanted to cry again, but she managed to stop it from happening.

But to think about it... As long as she had those memories, she soon realized that she liked him...

...as a friend.

She never got hurt when he ignored her sometimes. She didn't feel anger when he teased another girl. She didn't care if he was with someone else. She treated him in a friendly way. She never felt her heart beat rapidly when she was near him. She never acted like a shy girl when they talked together...

She liked him, she adored him, but as a friend... really, just a friend.

She loved both of them in different way. Shulk was a good friend of her; they shared good memories together, they did everything together. But it couldn't change the fact that she still loved Senpai deeply, so deep that she could be heart-broken in every minute.

But no matter what, she sure she would keep the bond between her and her friend, the beautiful friendship of them.

"Well, that's it. That's my final decision."

With those very last words, she slowly closed her eyes and fell asleep immediately. She was too tired after all those thoughts.