Cas held you as tight as he could, applying pressure on your wound, blood spilling from your wound onto Cas's clothes.
The demon had shot you before Dean killed it. Cas quickly ran over as the brothers made sure the thing was dead. Cas had always protected you and the Winchesters, ever since you decided to team up with them for a bit.
"C-Castiel," just saying his name made the pain worse, "let me go. Don't, don't save me." You choked out, tears rolling down your eyes.
You wanted to go. This life was too hard after losing your family. You just wanted an end to all the pain and loneliness.
"I..I can't, I have to save you, you can't go yet, not without knowing..." Cas choked out in between sobs.
Your body went cold and everything went black. But you could have sworn Cas said something about loving you.
----
A white light flashed in your eyes.
"Can, can you not do that." You're voice horse and raw.
The doctor pulled the light away, "Y/N is awake now boys, you can see her if you want." He said as he stepped out.
Cas practically ran in the room and hugged your sore body. You winced and he let go with a concerned face.
"I didn't mean to hurt you." He said, his blue eyes wide and concerned, yet relieved.
Dean and Sam came in with smiles on their faces.
"Y/N, you gave us a scare and had Dean and Cas both crying like babies." Sam said as he took your hand in his.
"Hey! You were crying too." Dean adds defensively.
"Guy's, shut up, I've a headache." You say as the boys start to head out of the room.
"We are gonna grab some food Y/N, they should be releasing you soon, or we'll just bust you out, right Cas?" Dean says as he winks and leaves.
"Cas, aren't you going to go?" You asked the angel after the boys walked out without him.
"Um, I, uh, I thought I'd stay to make sure you're safe." Cas said a bit unsure of himself.
"Uh huh," You said nodding, "why don't you tell me the real reason angel face." You said smiling.
"What do you mean, I just want to ensure your safety." Cas said, he was avoiding eye contact.
"You suck at lying Castiel." You retorted back at him.
Cas sat down in the chair beside your bed. He obviously wasn't going to tell you what was the real reason as to why he stayed behind.
"Castiel, can I ask you something about when I was shot?" You remembered little of what he was saying as you slipped into darkness.
Castiel finally met your eyes as he slowly nodded, "sure," was all the angel said, something obviously bothering him.
"When you came over to me, you were saying something, I saw your lips moving and tears in your eyes, but I didn't hear anything, I couldn't hear what you were saying. What were you saying to me, other than I'm sure you said don't die." You said trying to hold his eye contact but he broke away looking out the window of your room.
A few seconds of silence passed and he took a deep breath.
"Just the usual, don't die, we need you. Like when people die on your movies you watch." He said still averting eye contact.
"Oh, well, I guess you've been watching too many movies." You said laughing slightly.
"Y/N," Castiel started, "when you thought you were dying you told me not to save you, did you really want to..." His voice trailed off, he looked at you with tears in his eyes.
"Cas, it's been a tough year for me, I thought instead of you saving me it'd be better if I died, then you wouldn't have to worry about me anymore. And don't say you don't worry, I see it written all over your face, you look at me like I get in the way." You finished, tears now falling from your eyes.
Cas took your hand in his and with his other hand he brushed the tears on your cheek off.
"Y/N. You don't get in the way, I don't mean to look at you like that, it's just that I have these feelings for you. These feelings that if I acted upon them could get both of us into a lot of trouble. I can't lose you. I won't lose you. What I said to you as I thought you were dying was that I loved you. Y/N, I love you, and I should have told you so much sooner." Cas said without breaking eye contact, his eyes filled with tears and what looked like regret.
You sat up and hugged him as tight as you could. You didn't say anything, you were taking it all in.
"Y/N,?" Cas asked after a few seconds of silence.
"Shh, I'm trying to figure out how to tell you I love you too." You said still trying to formulate words that would express your love for this angel.
"You don't have to, I can sense it, I can read your thoughts as well, I understand and I've known you have felt this way for a while, I just wanted to protect you and not tell you how I felt." Cas said and as he finished his sentence he kissed your forehead.
"I was wrong for not telling you," Cas started but you cut him off.
"Shut up dork, you're telling me now and that's all that matters. I know the risks of liking you and crap, but I don't care." You said laughing at how cliché you sounded.
"Y/N, if you don't care, then will you be my girlfriend? I will protect you at all costs, I don't care if I lose my grace or anything, I just want you to be mine." He said squeezing your hand tightly.
"Of course I'll be your girlfriend!" You exclaimed right before Cas leaned in to kiss you gently.
"I knew you'd say that." Castiel said with a smirk on his face.
"Someone pass me some bleach." Dean's voice said through the doorway as he pretended to throw up on Sam.
You and Cas looked at eachother and laughed.
I'm so glad I didn't die, you thought to yourself.
"Me too." Cas said smiling and squeezed your hand tightly.
I am so sorry I took so long to update!!! I don't know how many of you read these, but I'm sorry nonetheless! Life gets crazy and I'm still not caught up on SPN 😰😰 and school has been crazy. Thanks for reading and I welcome feedback!
