Glass Closets

Chapter 4: Logan

The first time Maria comes to your house, she brings alcohol.

It's a Friday, six-ish, and she's staying until midnight before she walks home. Your parents do a polite introduction, and your mom says, "Now, Logan's a bit hard-headed, so you be sure he treats you like the lady you are." Your dad says, "Use protection." and winks. They disappear upstairs with vague notions of giving you some alone time.

It's all very domestic.

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The beer has been poured very carefully into soda cans, which impresses you because of how clever it is and scares you because it means she's experienced with this type of thing.

You're not even legal adults yet, much less at a drinking age. You don't bring it up. That'd be uncool.

Instead, you have your first real drink out of a can labeled Coca Cola in the basement of your house with your girlfriend of three weeks.

She's brought two six-packs. You drink three cans before she gets through one, but you don't feel drunk. You're prepared to cut yourself off the moment you do.

The way Maria walks is like she's constantly falling over. Her weight shifts heavily in whatever direction she's decided to move, torso first and feet following just in time to keep her standing. Her body reminds you of picking up a lump of silly putty and watching the bottom half stretch and slide to the floor—an inhuman movement, but the only way to accurately show the way she flows. When she stands, it's with her hips forward and her shoulders pulled back as if she's reclining on her own body. When she sits, she looks so effortlessly cool and relaxed it's like an ad for a chair.

She's absolutely gorgeous, and here you are sitting across from her stiffly, feeling like you've come into her home instead of bringing her into yours. That's how it is when Maria is around; she owns the ground she walks on. In the background, your iPod plays something cool and slow.

You drink another can.

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"... not healthy, right?" She's talking. She's talking to you. No, she's done talking. She is... waiting for a response. Oh.

"Shit, sorry, I zoned out there for a minute. Can you say that last bit again?"

Her lips thin. "Language."

You swallow. Nod. She continues.

"I was saying that you should really take down those pictures of you and Tony in your room. It's not healthy to keep them up."

"How did you know I had those pictures up...?"

"I went to the bathroom, remember? Your door is open, stupid." She's clearly teasing.

You give a little laugh, feeling embarrassed at what you had been close to implying. Maria isn't some stalker, of course there's a logical explanation for her knowing about the pictures of you and Tony. "Yeah, of course it is. Heh."

"So, the pictures...?"

"Oh! Yeah, I guess I should take 'em down. It's just... some of 'em are pretty old. We' known each other a while."

"Logan, he's gay. He probably has a huge crush on you. You can't keep those pictures up, knowing that. You have a girlfriend." She indicates herself, and gives you a look that makes you uncomfortable as she continues, "Being just friends with a queer doesn't happen. Unless you're... interested. In him." Her tone is sharp.

"No!" you squeak, reflexively. She's finally said what you've been thinking ever since Tony came out. You were his best friend, and now he's gay. People think you're... like him. Ever since news got around the school, you've been able to feel people looking at you, evaluating your hair, your clothes, your voice, trying to find some indication that you're gay too. Even the day it happened, it was too much. Just talking to Tony had some people pulling you aside and asking if the two of you were dating.

And of course you aren't! He's like your brother, but he's the tough one. He's the popular one. You, on the other hand, are not so untouchable that you could publicly stand for a queer without becoming a target yourself.

To you, Tony's sexuality is strange, but not irredeemable. It's a flaw you could look past for the sake of your relationship, but your opinion doesn't matter if no one else can find it in them to feel the same.

"No," you repeat to Maria. "'M not gay. And I'm gon' take the pictures down t'night."

She makes a low approving noise and slides another can towards you. You hadn't realized the one you had was empty again.

It's silent. Her eyes watch your Adam's apple bob as you down your sixth beer. Sitting abandoned between you is her first can, still about a quarter full.

As soon as you finish, she's standing, pulling you up with her. The song on right now is all bass, and your arms feel clumsy where she tugs them into place at her waist. Her arms close around the back of your neck, and you're hyper-aware of her breath on your face. Below you, your legs are heavy as the music. You've made a miscalculation.

You're drunk.

It's all you can do to sway along, which is fine because Maria wants to lead. She coaxes another drink into your hand and you take it, aware that any less would make you seem inexperienced. She expects you to have done this before. Shit.

Well... one more can can't make it much worse.

Two.

Three.

By the time she leaves--though later, you can't recall exactly when that happened--there are no more cans left and she's still only had one.

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The next morning, your head is pounding when you drag yourself to your bathroom to puke. Your room is in the basement and your parents just assume you're sleeping in, so you have the whole day to get over your hangover.

You can't remember exactly what happened, but your walls have no shred of Tony left.

And there's jizz on your sheets.

Shit.

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NOTES

Heeeelloooo guys! i told you this chapter would be soon. so, we finally get a look into logans head. as it turns out, he is not in fact the antagonist in this. and if youre wondering: yes, maria was aware that he was drunk when they did whatever they did. details to come from her perspective.

let me know in the comments whos perspective you want in the next chapter, tony or maria.

thank you so much for reading this story. comments/votes are wonderful, so if anyone wants to do me a favor and let me know what they think, it would be appreciated. i write for me, but i post for YOU. 

and remember, if youve made it to this point, i already love you.