starts with good bye

leving my brother

By the time the boys finished and came back to the bus i had cryed myself to sleep while the slide show keeped going alex bravely woke me up to move me into our bed well it was not going to best if i sleep in a bunk all alone " I can't do this Alex I thought I could but I miss her so much it hurts" I say in to Alex's arm muscles he just pulled me in tighter so I could fall asleep he did the same we woke up in the morning to jack running and jumping around the bus because Amber was coming for a while so it would be fun having another girl on the bus but it won't be lexi so it won't be what I've dreamed about my hole life.

Amber moved on to the bus she was only going to be with us for a few days but boy o boy did we know she was there she took over the kitchen complaining about how even when on tour we need to eat healthy took Over the bathroom every time I wanted to shower she was In there and the shower was not big enough to for two so I couldn't shower with Alex I decided that if she was staying on the bus for the whole trip that I was going to go home I couldn't deal with her all I was thinking about was jack and how he's my brother and that I should just try to like her as much as I he dose.

time skip

after being on the bus with amber for a week i needed to tell the boy a lie to let them let me go home i believed it was going to be best "hey guys i think its going to be best if i go home for awhile im just not coping with being on the bus all the time"i say so everyone can hear me throughout bus with that i walk off the bus slamming the door behind me and finding a nice quiet place to sit and think lexi what have i done so wrong to want to go home mid way through what we have been dreaming about for years lexi i dont think i can do this any more i need to leave tour but it's not best for anyone but myself but im going to fly home some time soon im sorry lexi finishing thinking while crying just as i was crying alex found me " hey babe are you okay" alex asked "no im breaking down and im going to go home without you because u need to stay on tour and i'll c u at ur consist in baltimore okay bae" i say just breaking down "and you think im okay with at" alex says back " look i need time space and im still trying to get over lexi's death and amber is so not helping okay i'm sorry but it's just not working when i get back on the bus i'll buy my flight tickets and then go when i can" i say just looking up the sky "okay that ur choice but i dont like it " alex says to me all i do is walk back to the bus i got my compute out and looked online for a flight i found one that leave tomorrow morning so ill take that one "okay guys can someone please take me to the airport tomorrow morning at 8am " i ask the bus " i heard a course on nos come from the bus i walk to the back lounge " im sorry guy im leving no matter what im sorry guy i thought i could do this but i can't sorry" i say they all look at me i just walk to my bunk and pack my shit "baby please dont do this" alex asked me " well im leaning or she is " i say to alex " well i dont want to ask jack to tell his gf to leave because his sister is not okay with her being here "alex says jumping on to the bunk " you take the boys out for tea and amber just leave jack with me okay" i tell alex

later on in the day alex takes the boys out but leaves jack with me we need some brother sister time i made us tea we are sitting eating it when i bring it up " either she goes or i will i have a flight for tomorrow morning and im prepared to get on it just because i've had enough of her shit and by the way if she stay's then you can kiss ur baby sister goodbye"i finish saying then head to the back lounge to be by myself for a while everyone gets back and alex come in with my food "baby you didn't eat are you okay" he asks "im not hungry sorry bae" i tell him as jack runs in "im sorry kayla" jack says " it okay im all ready packed it okay i can move out so that i dont have to be around u and or her sorry bro im sorry alex" i say almost crying i run to my bunk and look at lexi photos then fell asleep in my own bunk with the curtain closed meaning i didn't want to be disbursed. i woke up in the morning to alex shaking the rental car keys i got up and put on an atl top and black skinny jeans with my docs they would be the most compatible for my day jack left amber in his bunk " i'll come with you i want to say goodbye to my little sister properly " jack said as he walked off the bus into the car "ohh great i say while looking at alex "baby it will be okay i love you" alex says to me i just nod and get in the back seat of the car wile alex brings out my bag

when we got to the airport i had like 30 minuets till my flight so alex and jack bought themselves breakfast they did ask if i wanted anything but i didn't the airport was calling my plane to bored i needed to go "baby sister i love you so much and im sorry you feel that way about amber but i love her like you love alex so sorry but i guess if u love me you will come back but until then bai baby girl" jack says almost crying and kissed my forehead i just hugged ales and walked away crying i got on my plane and left to go back to my home town.

alex p.o.v.

"and you're the reason she leaving how could you date her high school bully" i was saying to jack as we walk onto the rental car after dropping kayla off at the airport "and because of you my unstabil girlfriend is moving out god knows what she's going to do she not over lexi's death and you forced her to leave one of the only places she feels safe how could you man she's your sister and you chose ur girlfriend over her" i still talking to jack while he's crying in the passenger seat of the car as i drive back the the tour bus "im sorry man but i think i love amber" jack said to me with more tears "do you love amber more than your only sister"i ask jack "i think i do sorry man" jack tries to tell me as i leave the car walking on to the bus and getting on it leaving jack in the car to cry like a little baby "you boyfriend is in the car crying like a little baby" i say to amber who was in the front lounge on the bus but i continue to my kayla's bunk noticing her laptop on the bunk i open it up to go through it and surely enough it doesn't have a password i find word docs saved to her desktop i read a few then find one that looks interesting i can't believe what im reading I'm sorry jack and alex but i think this is the best decision to make i dont want to live with out lexi and the fact that jack has replaced her with my high school bully i cant believe u did that you are dating her that why my choice to kill myself i think is best sorry i love you both but i can't go on.

i just pull my phone out an txt my baby kayla you left your laptop here what do i do with it ??? then put my phone away and went to sound check because we would be performed to night "have you sorted your man child" i ask amber " i think i have he all ready in sound check".