Love Me Harder • Stucky AU • The Marvel LGBT

love me harder

Sometimes love is not what we expect coming. Sometimes no matter how hard we try to find love, it will never show itself. But the thing is, once the love is there, just like Wade Wilson said, you have to hold on tight and never let go.

And here's another thing, some things will hinder love. Example? Friendship. Why? Because once we feel something for a friend, the mentality is what if I mess up? What if he said no? What if he don't like me? Too many ifs. You'll never know unless you try. Risk it. If you want to be happy, go for it. No buts, no ifs. No pain, no gain. Right?

And that's I want to do. To risk it. To go after him. To tell him how I feel for him. To tell how he made the butterflies in my stomach go wild when he smile. How he give me chills every time we chill (that Ariana Grande reference though). Bucky is my friend ever since the world began. I am afraid to mess up. Afraid. Key word.

Yeah, I'm gay as fuck. And Bucky is straight as a flag pole. He's straight. Another key word.

And he's a good friend. Friend. Another motherfucking keyword.

"Steve, you okay? You look lost, bro." Bro. I just mentally sigh. He think of me as his brother. See? Any chances that we might be together? Ding! Ding! Ding! You're right. No chances.

"Yup. I'm okay. Always okay." Okay basically that a fucking lie. I'm not okay. I've trying to find a way how to tell him how I feel without freaking the hell out of him.

"You're a terrible liar, lover boy. Tell me where it hurts, my baby. And I'll do my best to make it better..." Yeah. Bucky is handsome and dashing and everything, but when he sing, it felt like my eardrums have been pierced with knife. He's a fucking terrible singer.

"Stop singing, Buck! And it's nothing. Nothing important." I lied. The truth is it's killing me inside. I just focused myself on writing my assignment.

We've been in my room for almost an hour now. After school, Bucky decided to hang out with me in our house. I said no, but Bucky don't accept a no for an answer. He said he never asked me to go to our house, he said he commanded me. When he likes it, he will have it. I hope he like me, so he can have me. Ugh! Wishful thinking. No, scratch that. Ambitious thinking. That.

In my peripheral vision, I see Bucky is staring at me. "Steve, seriously, what's up. You've been acting so weird this past few days?" Yeah, I've been trying to avoid him since I realized I'm in love with Bucky. It sucks to be gay and to be in love with a handsome and dashingly funny straight guy. "You know you have my back. Any problems, I'll help you. Okay Stevie-boy?"

"Yeah. Thanks Buck."

"Steve..."

"Uhmm?"

"Steve."

"Bucky." I said. Okay, so I'm freaking out a little bit now. Bucky is using his soldier tone on me.

"Steve. Tell me. Now."

"You want to know? Promise me you'll never freak out?" I asked and his eyes widened. Okay so I made him freak out.

After a couple of seconds, he sighed loudly. "Okay, what was bothering you?"

"Uhm... So... I have this feeling... Uhmm" I stutter.

Bucky just rolled his eyes. "For fuck's sake Steve, tell me."

"I love you, Bucky... There. Are you happy? Can you help me with that problem? Can you give a fucking solution to that? Can you give back the love I have for you?" I said while tears flooded my eyes. "No, right? The answer is a no. A fucking no. You're straight, I'm gay. And we both know that. And we have this. This friendship. I know, the moment I said I love you, that friendship is gone because you will hate me now." There. All there. And I'm crying now. As much as I hate crying, I can't help it.