Short story's

My baby

Don't you ever just think of the future? Like what job your gonna have or how many kids you'll be lucky to receive? Whether or not you'll be a single parent? If you'll gain any more tattoos or piercings than you have now? Maybe get into an accident? How you'll look as an old person? Those things run around in my mind crashing like waves on a shore during high tide. Or maybe they creep up into your thoughts like at low tide. Slowly but surely. You won't realize everything has changed until you stop and think back to them. Whether through pictures or memory's or be it a physical objects that makes you realize it has. But what I mostly think about is the kids I'm gonna have. I find myself wondering about the clothes they're going to wear. Stress about how much money I'm gonna spend on them throughout their life. What I want to teach them. How much of a good role model I want to be. Show them the world and all its beautiful yet cruel ways. Teach them there's so much more than having technology and money and all that. Show them my perspective. See them grow up. See their way of looking at things. But at the same time I wonder if I even have the time. I know that sounds bad but face it. Even if I ignore money problems that won't mean they would go away. Clothes, car, college all cost money and all the work I will put in non stop for my children all weigh in and I consider not having them at all. But that thought automatically goes away because having children in the first place is my goal. It's weird I know. All I want is to call and know their mine and only mine. I'm not scared to work and earn the money. I'm more worried about not having enough time for them. To not give them enough love and attention. Because sometimes people need actual words to know they are loved. And I know a mothers love is unconditional but they won't know that. Would they?

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