We Fell Apart

Broken Mirrors

Harrys POV

" Another one, Betty" 

The slutty looking bartender obeyed my orders. I had no clue what the fuck i was doing with my life. If their was one thing i was sure of, it was going to be drinking my sorrows away. As usual. She saved me. She saved me from my own mutilated mind, and now she was gone. 

The warm vodka slithered down my throat as i gulped my seventh , give or take a few, shots. My sweet Lennon had gone, and this vodka tasted almost as sweet as her. The void was huge, but this shot glass may have been enough to fill it for a few seconds. If i was lucky enough it could block out the world until morning. The way  that the man had been staring at me from the other side of the bar had been eating away at me since i fucking got there. Oh how i wanted to blow his fucking brains out. 

"What the fuck is your problem?" 

"Fuck You" he spoke 

He's gonna wish he never did that.

Before i could even think my feet had carried me over in my drunken state to the bastard. He wasn't any better than me if he was a middle aged guy drinking at fucking 4 pm. I reached his nose as my fists slammed into his fucking face. He landed on the ground and i toppled along with him throwing punches at every angle. I couldn't control it anymore. I kept my feelings of Lennon bottled up and i had to release the anger, the pain, the everything.

I was so fucking clueless to what i was doing and every question i had of why, how , and what did i do seemed to find an answer in the guys face. I realized i fucked him up bad, but the voices screaming at me faded and i heard only the sweet giggle Lennon used to have or the screams she would have when i got in a fight. That was enough to make me let go. I managed to storm out of the fucking bar, with clouded vision and a drunken walk. 

Lennon's POV

The pain had remained. I thought i could  escape it. I was wrong. I thought moving away could leave all my troubles behind. I was wrong. Again. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how i was going to ever face my utterly messed up problems. My life had been a mess. Harry. My precious angel in disguise had been the only one to love me and get my mind off things. Only he wasn't mine anymore. I let him go.

Unconsciously the tears started streaming down my face. Again. This had been a constant ever since i left. I was in Holmes Chapel trying to find my way on my own. I couldn't. I desperately needed him to hold me. To tell me things were okay and he would handle it. I gave everything up. For what? Everything. 

I laid in bed just thinking what he could be doing right now, Maybe he's taking this just as hard as me. Or maybe he's out at some club, fucking a girl senseless in the bathroom. The mere thought of this evoked something in my chest. My chest tightened and the choked sobs found a way out. You know what the worst kind of crying is? The one where no one knows. The silent one where you find it hard to breathe and the pain wont subside. The one where you know you've just lost everything. For what? For everything.

 Harry's POV

I stumbled into my door, with my anger bubbling inside me. I was a complete fuck up. I couldn't even get the one girl i tuly loved to stay with me.  I was sinking. My anchor had left me and i couldn't stay afloat. I was drowning in my sorrows and the alcohol invading my system now. The keys found its way to the spot Lennon had made for them. I smashed the glass. The pounding in my hand was nothing like the pounding in my heart. I took a blow to the wall. I walked further into our- my apartment. Pacing back in forth my heart thumped. My anger got the best of me. I couldn't hold it in. Nope, not this time.

I screamed. I yelled with everything in me as i kicked over the coffee table. I slid the couch we made love on into the wall. I ripped the filling out of the pillows she so desperately loved. My hand reached across the cabinet. I swept my hand across the shelf knocking over every single one of those fucking pictures she's smiling in. The mirror she had begged me to buy had been smashed in seconds without realization. She would be devastated. I didn't think. I didn't care. She was the one who left, right? No, not right. i could never blame her, though my anger had risen.  I had enough. I knocked over every single chair we had in the dinner room. I slid down the wall. My bleeding knuckles wrapped around my knees as my heart bled more. The aching in my soul could never be fixed until i had her in my arms again. Until i felt her warmth again. I just couldn't function. My silent sobs taking every thing with it as i struggled to breathe. Then i heard something. A rattling in the door. I wished it was her. A gleam of hope rose within me as i thought it could be her coming to pick up the pieces of my heart, of our house. Or maybe instead of collecting my feelings she would be collecting her things. I couldn't fathom that. The door clicked and my flicker of hope anxiously awaited to see who it was.