Wonderless (Kellic VS. Fuenciado)

Wonderless - Chapter 12

[Jaime’s P.O.V]

 Have you ever started to question something you’ve known was absolutely right? Or… perhaps thought was right? Well, I suppose you could say that’s what’s happening to me lately. Ever since Kellin and Vic started dating, anyway. I don’t want to say I’m jealous—because I’m not—but I just can’t stand seeing the two of them together. I don’t know what it is, but every time I see them laughing or hugging, I just feel my heart sink to the bottom of my chest.

 Everyone thinks I’m straight, including myself, but… I’m not so sure anymore. I mean, is it normal to feel attracted to another guy, and only that guy?

 I started to ponder these thoughts as I walked into my room and shut the door behind me, promptly flopping onto my bed and throwing a pillow over my face with slight frustration. What the hell are these feelings? I guess I’ve kind of felt this way about Vic for a while, but I never really took any notice to them. And now that Kellin’s in the picture, I can’t fight them. But I couldn’t let Vic—or anyone—know. I don’t think I could ever purposely break Vic and Kellin up. Vic would be crushed, and I’d hate to see him so upset.

 So, I guess that’s it. I, Jaime Alberto Preciado, have a crush on Victor Vincent Fuentes.

 And I have absolutely no chance with him whatsoever.

 Great.

 Exhaling a sigh, I shut out the light on my nightstand and roll over onto my side. Maybe sleep will help me clear my mind and set this mess straight.

[Kellin’s P.O.V]

 

Vic and I had changed into out pajamas and were now sitting on the couch, watching some cheesy old movie I’d forgotten the name of. Vic had his arms wrapped around me, and my head was on his chest, and everything just seemed to be right at this moment in time.

“I’m glad I have you, Vic,” I whispered to him, snuggling myself into him.

“I’m glad I have you, too, Kells,” he replied back, wrapping his arms tighter around me and kissing the top of my head. I love when he does that. But there was something I needed to do. Pulling myself up, I sat myself so I was directly next to Vic and turned him to face me.

“Vic?”

“Yes, beautiful?”

“Promise me that you won’t hurt yourself anymore.” I took his hands in mine and squeezed them tight as I said this. Our gazes locked for a moment, and I could see Vic blink back a few tears that had started to well up in his beautiful brown eyes. He smiled, though. It was a weak, slightly nervous smile, but it was still a smile.

“I… I promise I’ll try,” he replied. I smiled back, too, and pulled him into a tight hug. It hurt knowing he felt the need to do what I did, and I just wanted to help him out of whatever depression he felt at the moment. I never want to see the people I love feeling the same pain I felt.

[Vic’s P.O.V]

 

 I know Kellin means well, and that he wants to help me through whatever depression shit I have, but I keep feeling guilty for making him worry. It’s like the guilt is practically sucking every last bit of life I have left, and soon enough, I’ll just be an empty shell.

 We’d made our way to bed about an hour ago, Kellin having fallen asleep in my lap, forcing me to carry him up to bed. I didn’t mind, though, considering Kellin was literally lighter than a feather. I laid him in bed and climbed in beside him, pulling the covers over us both, but couldn’t manage to fall asleep. Those dreadful, screeching voices rang through my ears, shouting such vile things at me. How could anyone possibly fall asleep to that?

 I rolled onto my side, away from the sleeping Kellin, and let a exasperated sigh rush past my lips. I couldn’t take this much longer. I can’t keep hiding this pain from the people who matter most to me. As far as I know, Jaime, Tony and Mike haven’t really noticed my depression, but it won’t be much longer until they find out.

 Having had enough, I silently slipped out of bed and snuck off to the bathroom down the hall, careful not to wake anyone. I slowly entered and shut the door behind me, sliding down to the floor with my back pressed against the wall. I buried my face in my hands and let the tears I had kept from falling all night roll down my cheeks and drip onto the tile. I honestly have no idea what I’m doing anymore. I’m not good enough for Kellin. I’m not. He’s so perfect and beautiful and nice and funny and I’m just…

 I’m just me. And me isn’t good enough. Not for Kellin.

 It was about 2 o’clock in the morning now, and I pulled myself up from the floor to face my ugly self in the mirror. My eyes were bloodshot, and my hair was a complete mess; I couldn’t take looking at myself. Compared to Kellin, I looked like absolute shit.

 I frantically searched through my drawers and medicine cabinet for any sort of release. It took me a while, but I finally found what I was looking for. That tiny, beautiful… and yet so deadly, piece of cold metal. I spun the thing around between my fingers for a moment, remembering the promise I had made to Kellin. What if he found out? What would he think of me? He would probably hate me for breaking my promise… Just give him another reason to find me worthless like everyone else does.

 Inhaling a deep breath, I rolled up my sleeve and traced over my old scars with my fingers. Taking in another ragged breath I slashed the blade across my wrists, feeling some sort of twisted relief as I saw the little beads of blood rise and trickle down my forearm. I did this for a while, until at least ten new cuts had formed along the underside of my already scarred arm.

 But my breath caught in my throat as I heard the bathroom door creak open, and felt the presence of someone else behind me.

 “V-Vic…? What are you doing…?”

 I immediately felt my entire chest cave in at that very moment. 

___________________________________________________________

Aw shet. So much drama. So amaze. 

And holy ducks! 260+ Reads and 15 Votes?! I'm so happy, you guys don't even know. I've had a really shitty few weeks and this just makes it so much better. Thank you so much for reading this far, and for leaving any feedback or voting this story. I love you guys!

Don't forget to follow, vote and leave a comment! <3