Into The Smoke

Line, Break, Line

It was closer to 1am when Gabby returned back to the hospital after her drive to try and clear her head. The sterile white corridors made her wince as she came from the darkness of the outside, and entered the brightness of the inside. Her heart was racing with anticipation. She knew that Matt would be in the room on his own; the rest of the team where back at the firehouse on shift, and Jamie was staying with Stefan for the night. The drive she'd taken to try and clear her head helped a lot. She now knew what she was trying to achieve out of this whole mess. She had to man up and accept the fact that Matt was injured, that he may never wake up, and she was so mad at herself for wasting the time that she could've been in his room with him. Now was the time that she needed to step up. Not just for Matt, Jamie and the team, but for herself.

Reaching Matt's door, with a shaking hand she held onto the handle and lightly pushed into the room. Turning her back to her husband, who was still silently laying in the bed behind her, she quietly closed the door and braced herself on the wall. Her heart was slamming at the base of her throat and she thought she was collapse onto the floor. Better here than anywhere else, she told herself to try and lighten her mental attitude. Gabby then slowly turned round and let her eyes take in the whole sight.
Matt's eyes where closed. His face had been cleaned up and now it was pale, looking almost grey, and relaxed. It had little white sterile stripes littered across the deeper cuts from the glass to keep the wounds together over the stitches. He looked like he'd been through the wars and still, with the way he was looking, Gabby couldn't bring herself to say his name. It hurt her to see him looking the way he was. She just wished that she could see is incredible smile and bright blue eyes for just a second, she knew that it would give her the boost of hope she needed to keep going.
Hesitantly placing one foot in front of the other, Gabby made herself walk to his side. Standing next to his bed, his hand inches from hers, she felt a wash of emotion. Unable to contain it any longer she clasped his hand and held it up to her lips. As she kissed the back of his hand, which was surprisingly warm, she squeezed her eyes shut to try and contain the tears that where threatening to slide down her face. Warm heat was burning at the back of her throat as she summoned every bit of strength to keep herself from crying - but it was no use. Gabby leaned forward, careful of where she put her hands because of his broken ribs, and touched her lips very carefully to his. They where rough and chapped under hers and it was the first time ever that he'd felt like this to her. Looking down at his face was the hardest part. He looked so peaceful and at a time like this it made it a little easier to handle. He didn't look like he was in any pain and that was all she could wish for because if she knew he was suffering, she knew she wouldn't be able to handle it. As she stood next to him, his hand still in hers, Gabby let the tears flow done her face. All this hiding her emotions had taken its toll and it made her feel tiered. Looking at the seat that Stefan was usually sat in, Gabby weighted up how she would feel to be sat there next to him, or laying beside him in the soft clean hospital bed. After a moment of thought, Gabby gave a little smile and lightly pulled back the white duvet that was laid gently over Matt. Careful that she didn't jog him, or hurt him in any way, she slid herself under the warm covers and turned onto her side to see his face clearer. Now that she was closer, she could feel the heat radiating off of him. The room wasn't warm itself, but now that she was beside him, her body instantly adjusted to the way he was laying and she mimicked his position so she could get as close to him as possible. His skin was cool to the touch and slightly clammy, but still Gabby laid her arm very lightly over his flat, relaxed stomach and let her head roll onto his shoulder. She hadn't slept in days and it was effecting her more than she wanted to admit. The room was dim and she slowly felt her eyes closing. She guessed that she was scared of closing her eyes because she knew that had brain would try and recreate how the accident would've looked; now she wasn't worried about that. She wasn't afraid of anything because she was beside one of the most amazing and precious people she had in her life, and be wasn't going to miss this opportunity of bliss just for a second. All the stress of the past few days - the constant worrying and doctors talk was getting to her, and now she could just relax. Matt was stable and Jamie was at probably one of the best places right now. She hated the feeling that she was pushing away, because that was the last thing she wanted to do. Jamie was guaranteed to be the one person who got her though this rancid journey, and he knew that she needed him. Just putting that sort of responsibility onto a 6 year old didn't exactly seem right at a time like this. Jamie was strong, stronger than a lot of people Gabby knew herself and if anyone was going to come out of this better off, it was Jamie.