When You Were here

When you were here (Ellie x Zane)

The bed had been her best friend lately. She had never left it ever since this incident. Elinor held her pillow tightly and rested her chin on it. Zane had been gone for two weeks now and still she couldn't stop thinking about him.
The question of 'Why' didn't got off her mind. She looked up and directly into his face.

"You seem exhaused, Ellie", she heard him say. She knew he wasn't here. He's just a made up from her memory. But....she better had him around like this than to let go of him entirely. "I miss you, Zane...", she whispered and streched out her hand towards him. Her hand stopped in the middle of the movement. It wouldn't be possible. He smiled sadly, in his cute, innocent way he always used to. Then his look went to her desk. It was full of papers, photographs and pencils. He stood up and went over to it, picking up a small rectangular piece of paper. At least she thought he did. He wasn't here afterall.
Elinor decided to stand up and picked up the photograph that had fallen to the ground. She stood there for a while, staring at the blanc back of the picture. She didn't dared to turn it over. She still did.

It was a picture of him and her together on their first date when they had went ice-skating. An older couple had been taking a walk there and Zane had asked them to take a photograph of them. Gently she stroke along the photo. A tear freed out of the corner of her eyes, rolling down her cheek, dipping down onto the picture. She wanted to stuff it back to the others as Zane's hand interrupted her.
"Don't. I really like this picture. Don't put it away, I want to look at it."
Ellie rubbed her temples and placed the picture down ontop of all her drawings she had been making and sat back down onto her bed. She knew that she was going crazy. Zane seemed to follow her thoughts everywhere, no matter where she went, Zane somewhen popped up somewhere. Like he wanted to remind her that she still missed him.
It was killing her more than anything else ever could.
She looked down at her handwrists. They still were full of scars and with Zane no longer being around, there was noone else to look after her. She felt a soft pressure on her hands. The blonde kneeled infront of her, looking at her with his shining aquamarine blue eyes.
"I told you I don't want to see you crying, Ellie...", he said and stroked her cheek. She hadn't noticed that the flow of salty tears had started once again. His sight made everything so much harder to realize.

He was no longer with them. All she saw and felt was nothing more than a lie, projected to reality to prevent her heart from too much hurt at the same time.
"Zane....why can't you be with me anymore...?", she whisperd, his smile vanished.
"Because I am not real, Ellie."

She knew his words were honest and only the truth. Yet the sadness and the depression over his death returned once again with a violent power. She looked down at her shaking hands, rising them up to her face to cover it.
Not real.
It will never be again. Her dearly beloved nindroid had been vanquished together with the overlord. Then she remembered what he told her just the evening before all this happened and ripped her life off it's feet.

Love means destruction.

"Do you rather want me to leave you alone? I can get Nya or Cole if you want me to", Zane suggested and she felt his hands upon her knees. His touch was as cool and chilly as always. Elinor shook her head.

"Just...leave me alone....!"
The ravenhaired girl felt how the pressure from her knees vanished and she honestly didn't cared much at that moment. Silently she sat there, crying for a while. And as she looked up again, the room was empty. Like Zane had never been here in the first place, which he actually really wasn't. She doubted that she'd ever be able to let go of him. She was living in a dream she wasn't able to wake up from. And it felt like it was her own fault.

"I will be waiting for you, Ellie", his voice echoed in her head for the last time.
"....Yes, me too...", she silently replied and covered her hands in tears.