Poems of my life

#The Struggle

He says he liked me for a while now

And he's just telling me

He says he likes me for my personality

But hasn't he seen my personality has changed for the worst

I know I come across as that girl who is always happy and smiling but when its time to go to bed

She cries herself to sleep because she is mad at the world mad at the people around her and mad at herself

For what she has become

For the pills she has to take each day because she knows if she misses one dose then she end up in a hospital bed for the forth time not first but forth

How can he like me

Hasn't he seen what she become

Hasn't he seen the dark marks that lace her light brown skin

Hasn't he heard the rumors of she's pregnant because she formed a muffin top from the pills that makes her eat so much

And she know she knows shes not pregnant and she knows its just fat and if she works out it will go away but its not that easy to do 200 sit ups each night to see nothing has changed

And the skinny girl says it is that easy then you go do it oh I forgot you don't have to because you got boys flocking to your side left and right saying what's up mommy

How can he like me hasn't he seen what I've become

To find out one day she's washing her hair in the shower to find out half of it is falling out and she tries to cover up the bald spots with the little bit of hair she has left

How can he like me hasn't he seen what I've become

And he comes and tells her your beautiful your incredible and I dont give a damn what anyone has to say your a star in my eyes and you glow like fireflies your beautiful to me and with that she cries and he holds her and tells her to be strong

That she's God child and he will heal her with time just don't let your faith die

#The sttuggle