MEH

The welled up everything bad inside of me

Insulted a man who tried to treat my disease by clapping his hands and he ran away without saying goodbye. I collect lingering feelings that pile up to be something way worse and I express it by saying nothing at all but I also will discuss the weather with you. I thought I was getting better but then I asked strangers if I should burn my bridges down. It was a tie of should and shouldn't and I ended up burning more than I thought I would. It angers me that I know what you would think if I told you but you're not comparing circumstances you're only comparing actions. That's so unfair. You're unfair. Get me out. I was reaching out for help and you just made things worse. I was reaching out for help but she didn't even care. I was reaching out for help but she just wasn't there. You think this is a one week thing? I hope you're there when I get out down. I hope you see how messy my hair is when you're not around. You don't understand what keeps me in this mortifying state. These dry chapped lips that just won't go away. I don't want to talk about that band and I don't want to talk about my past life. I'd start over, I would be better but every time I find a way to do that I realize there's no point. The circle of life is not birth to death. It's more of a repetitive circle of trying to get yourself to stop. Stop thinking about them. Stop doing what you are. Stop it all and start the now. But the lingering headaches won't stop. The welled up everything bad inside of me won't stop. And there's no sign of that other thing.