Irresistible

Chapter Twenty

Thanksgiving Day

"Spencer wake up! Daddy needs help with the turkey." Emma's voice consumes my thoughts and I pry my eyes open into my bright room. "Was it necessary to turn the light on?" I groan and sit up. Emma sprints off without another word and I just shake my head at her. With all of my morning tired strength, I push off my covers and head upstairs to the bathroom. I could have sworn there was one by my room but it was only just a wall. Maybe I dreamt last night that there was a bathroom there; strange dream to have though. I push the door open and steam comes pouring out. Someone must have taken a shower. No surprise there, Dad always showers in the mornings. When the steam stumbles out of the bathroom and into the hallway I can finally see clearly. The door slams shut behind me with a loud thud, scaring me. My thoughts roam to my appearance so I check myself in the mirror. To my horror, the words "backstabbing slut" is scrawled into the fogged up mirror. I back up into the wall behind me as I stare at the mirror. "No please, no. Not again." I squeeze my eyes shut panicking. When I open them I'm in the back of our famous quarter back's truck. He's next to me and I remember we had just slept together. I hear a high pitched scream and look up to see the head cheerleader looking like she's about to explode with fury. "You slut! You slept with my boyfriend? The nerve!" Suddenly, I realize what's happened. This guy next to me had completely lied to me and tricked me into sleeping with him. "He told me he wasn't with anyone!" I cry, suddenly in panic regretting everything. The girl stares at me with such hatred it practically radiates off of her. She scoffs when she says, "Everyone knows we're dating. You lying, worthless, piece of trash." I want to get up and run and that's when I'm completely aware of just how naked I am right now. Nothing but the blanket I'm sharing with the quarter back right now. Who at the moment doesn't seem phased at all that there is now a crowd of people we know watching the show. "Spencer!" The cheerleader angrily yells and starts to shake me. "Spencer, wake up!" I look at her confused for a moment and suddenly everything is black.

I open my eyes to find Max shaking me awake. "You were having a nightmare I think." He says gently, rubbing my arms soothingly. I'm comforted by him until I remember last night. I jerk away suddenly. "You shouldn't be in here. You have a girlfriend, Max." He looks hurt by my comment. "I know that. Emma tried to wake you up earlier because your dad needs you but you were too deep asleep. So she asked me to help because Sophie is still asleep as well." I feel slightly embarrassed by my accusation now but I mostly just feel the guilt of last night. I stand up and run my hands down my face and then through my hair. "We have to tell her. It was a mistake, I have no idea what happened we were just tired and weren't thinking. It didn't mean anything. We have to tell her Max. The longer we wait the worse it'll be. I'm going to lose her, oh my gosh." My voice starts to rise and quicken and I feel a panic attack just under the surface. Max grabs my arms firmly and then places his hand gently under my chin raising my face to meet my eyes with his. "I know, Spence... I know..." He sighs deeply and I can see worry lines begin to form and a hint of some other emotion I can't seem to figure out. Stress maybe? Regret? "Can we just enjoy Thanksgiving first?" Max begs after a few moments. I step back from his grasp and walk over to my vanity. The dark circles under my eyes confirm the nightmares I endured last night. This break was supposed to be stress relieving not more stressful than school has been. Telling Sophie now would only make this "vacation" even worse. I turn to face Max. "Okay, but as soon as we're back you have to tell her. I'll talk to her after but you should be the one to say something first." My heart races with anxiety and I look down at my feet away from Max's gaze.

When I look up again, the door closing softly and Max is out of sight. I let out a breath I'd apparently been holding in his presence. My attention turns back to the vanity and I sit down on the stool to apply my makeup. No one needs see the guilty conscience I hold so firmly under my eyes. It feels like I've applied a thousand layers before the dark purple fades. Visions of Max force their way into my thoughts. I can still feel his soft lips on mine and I want to scream. Before, in high school, I blamed the boy I'd slept with. He had lied to me, caused me to look bad when in reality I would never want to be a homewrecker. This time I have nothing to keep a clear conscience with. This time it really is my fault. I am a homewrecker. And to make it worse it was with my best friend's boyfriend! All the cool gazes and hateful whispering rumors of the school seem like nothing compared to this. No one will look at me like the horrible person that I am because they don't know. But when Sophie finds out that'll be it. She'll kick me out and I'll have no one. Rainy will likely side with her and I'll be without a place to live and have no one to console me. It'll be so much worse than high school. I actually deserve it.