Careless Love

Lilly Cole

”You are not in love with him?” my fourteen year old cousin asked me. She was a couple of cities away - a countless miles away from where I lived. She was living in a tiny house with her parents and her sister and my cousin Minnie. I loved my cousins so much though they were so young and sometimes annoying. They always believed me when I said something about myself or if I told the truth while everybody thought I was lying. Maybe they actually never believed me, but they always made it seem like they believed me.

”No,” I answered. ”I'm not in love with him. He is a great friend and all but he is not really my type and I can imagine myself falling in love with him.”

”He's cute, though!” ”Indeed he is, but Lilly, he is a gamer! I'm pretty sure he would rather want to shoot me than kiss me.” I grinned quietly to myself. He was a gamer but he was a good gamer. His whole life was not about gaming; he had time to be with his friends and family and he didn't spend his whole free time playing a video game.

”Eugh, I hate gamers,” Lilly complained into her cell phone. I sauntered towards the fridge to give myself a sausage. ”I don't. I love them, really,” I responded while I was eating the sausage. Disguisting, actually. But God, I loved sausages.

”Okay then. But you feel like you're very slowly developing feelings for him, because your friends keeps saying you two are together... Am I right?” I wanted to cry when she said that. I knew in that moment that the feelings I was developing for him was not real. They were completely fake. My friends had placed those feelings inside my heart, but because they did that, it made the feelings fake.

”You're so right,” I said.

”Then you have nothing to worry about. If you find yourself falling in love with him, it's probably just fake,” Lilly tried to convince me but how could I believe her? Maybe the feelings was real. Maybe the feelings would get stronger in the future. Maybe he was my soulmate and I was destined to be with him for the rest of my life.

”Are you going to the party tomorrow?” I asked my cousin, hoping her answer would be no. When she said yes, I knew exactly what to say in the heat of the moment. ”No! You're way too young to go to a party! You're only fourteen, Lilly! When I was fourteen ...” was the only thing I got to say before she hung up. Oh, well, I could understand why she hung up, but really, bitch, really?

The party was like any other party. This time, it was Tanisha Smith who was throwing the party and she was quite good at throwing parties. They always involved a lot of alcohol, juice (hallelujah!), music and games. She was throwing the party because she was leaving us within the next two months. Depressing? I think so. Tanisha Smith was like any other girl, really. Pretended to like soccer, was a happy girl and had a lot of friends. I was her friend but we didn't really talk that much. She was okay.

****

”I must say I am quite disappointed of you, class,” our English teacher stated. I knew my best friend was gonna ignore me for two days when our teacher told us what she had to say. But to be honest, I was actually excited to see how she would explain it to the rest of the class. Right now my classmates was just staring horrified at our teacher.

”We have a situation going on here. We have a problem in this class that needs to be solved immediately. Andrew Sandberg and Jessica Cole, would you please come up to me and tell your classmates how you feel?” No. That was not the plan. I did not want to share my inner thoughts about them with them. My blue eyes landed on Drew who was looking just as nervous as me. We both got up from our chairs and walked over to our teacher. I could feel the redness in my face right away.

”Um, yeah ... The thing is we hate when you guys ... mock us and says that we are together. We are not together. Maybe we are soulmates. So what? You know we hate it when you mock us. So please stop,” Drew explained immediately. Well, what was there for me to say then? He just said all the things I was about to say. I just nodded while I was studying my friends' facial reactions.

Oh shit. Sophie looked so pissed off she could murder a rapist with her bare hands. Our biggest fan was actually pissed at her favourite ”couple” ever. The boys were just quietly laughing to themselves and the girls were whispering stuff to each other while staring at me and Drew.

”But you look so in love! If you looked yourself in the mirror now, you'd see hearts in your eyes!” a blonde-haired girl name Sun Ruess blurted out. ”Just stop, okay?” So I finally decided to say something. Three words, one comma and a question mark in the end.

”If they don't think it's funny, do not do it. Am I clear?” our teacher almost shouted. Since the class did not respond, me and Drew sat back down on our chair.

”Actually - I have something to announce,” Tanisha blurted out and looked at our teacher who nodded at her. The then announced what she had to announce. ”Don't wear nice and pretty clothes tonight. We're going diiirtyeh!” she announced. Great. I did not have anything nice and pretty clothes to wear, so her announcement made me happy. I was just gonna wear some casual clothes; a top with a cardigan and pants or perhaps shorts. It was a party so we still had to at least look a bit attractive, right?

”Why didn't you just tell me?” Sophie whispered in my ear. She scared the living out of me. ”I've told you a million times, in case you haven't noticed,” I answered. Oh yes, she was one of those types. Being a bitch because ”I didn't tell her something” when I obviously did tell her.

”Bad excuse,” she growled. Snap, huh? I rolled my eyes and decided to finally look at you. ”If it makes you happy, then fine. I haven't told you a million times. Happy?” I rolled my eyes again and looked away from her. Sometimes, she could just really piss me off. I wanted to just get up and walk away from her and walk and walk and walk until her annoying personality was out of my system. Then why did she continue to be my bestfriend? I have no idea.

”I'm not going to the party tonight,” Sophie stated a few seconds later. ”Why not?” I asked, totally not interested in what her answer might be. ”Well, because I have to ignore you, that's why,” she answered. My God, why did she have to be like that?! She could still go to the party! She could go to the party and ignore me at the same time.

”Oh come on. Relax, woman,” I mumbled, hoping she couldn't hear it, but unfortunately she could hear it. ”Fuck you!” she half-shouted and half-whispered directly into my ear. That hurt so fucking much. I decided to be the ”mature” one, so I left the classroom. I was standing in front of the door to the toilet, waiting for the school day to be over. I thought the teacher was gonna come to yell at me, but she never came. But someone came and that someone was Heath, my Heath, my good friend Heath.

”I hate your best friend,” was the first thing he said to me when he saw me. I chuckled fake and tried not to look into his eyes. ”You all do,” I said. Then it was his turn to chuckle. The way he chuckled was just way too cute.

”I want to be your .... ugh, the only word I can use is date. I want to be your date tonight. No, I want you to be my date tonight. Ugh, I just want to pick you up and drive you to the party. Is that okay?” Heath asked me. What? He wanted to be my date and he wanted me to be his date. I would love to be his date, really, but it was a bit weird. I looked into his beautiful blue eyes and stared and stared and stared until I actually said something.

”That's more than okay,” I said and smiled. ”Fantastic. I'll pick you up at seven, yes?” he chuckled. ”The school day is over in five minutes, by the way. You can just go now if you want to,” he suggested. Thank you.

”Oh okay. See you tonight then,” I smiled, took my things and walked out of the school area. I took my phone up from my pocket and looked at it; Sophie had sent me four messages since I left the classroom.

Where are you!?

LOL our teacher doesn't give a shit about u leaving the classroom

.... Jess?

REALLY?!

Say what you want about her, but she could be funny as hell sometimes. When she wanted to she could be funny, I guess. I got up on my bike and then I tried to get home in less than ten minutes.