COMA | ziam

9: Graveyard's Full

that photo should be the cover of my book ga damn heart eyes

sorrrrryyyyyy 444444 miiiiisssstakkkkkesss & shitty-ness

Zayn

My skin flushes with goosebumps and the sound of rain pelting against the window drowns out my thoughts. The color I see behind my eyelids is a grey shade, a pacifying confusion that coats my senseless worry in a fleece-y glaze. My spine rattles with a shiver but the feeling I breathe in is warm as I awake in a familiar bed. Everything seemed so distant as I open my eyes in a haze, my hands collecting the waves and ripples of the silk sheets below me. I'm in Liam's bed and it smells just like him, making all my muscles defeat into the amorous fragrance that is reminiscent of the night before. Tangling myself into his scent, my mind feeling vacant apart from how good it felt to be here. I've only ever wanted to be here, in Liam's bed with the man himself, but instead Liam isn't with me. I begin to open my eyes fully now, searching for him in his large bed with tunneled vision. Like a blind man searching for light, I try to find him.

The hair that trails up into the back of my head raises as I slowly twist my body off my stomach. I feel like I'm watching myself from afar but I don't complain, it feels like a high that I couldn't afford. But once I've finally turned around and I'm met with the eyes that I felt behind me, my heart leaps onto my tongue. The deafening pulse that I can feel and hear raptures any form of comfort that I felt before as I discover Liam standing beside the bed.

His face is obscured into hurt and sorrow and he is wearing the same bloodied shirt with bruised knuckles. It's exactly the way I saw him before I fell asleep and it shocks me. The sense of fear that I get when I'm attracted of the attention, sending myself into the sinking bed, being swallowed by my confusion. His eyes are dark and profound as the silence I felt before slowly plagued my body with fret.

"L-Liam?" I'm asking for answers, thinking once I've said the word that my trepidation would disintegrate but it doesn't. His lips begin to move and it's serenely doubtful - this whole situation.

"How could you leave me there? After everything? You just walked away -- how could you?" His voice is incredulous and it doesn't sound like him, he sounds different but he looks like my Liam. The man that changed my life stands before me with blue and purple painted fists and a heart ripped open on his sleeve.

"Liam, I don't understand, what am I doing here? Why am I in your bed?" I repeat his name, hoping it'd make him realize that it was me, Zayn, but he didn't look at me like how he looked at me before. He looked at me like I was a stranger who cut him deep. The thought of the irreplaceable anger he would feel for me hurts and it makes a wave of wickedness run through me. Liam turns away from the bed, eyes once capturing mine as he turns his back to me.

As uncertain as I felt, it doesn't stop me from surging out of his bed, keeping a distance away. I stand by the window where rain pours and Liam stops in his tracks. We're feet away as he winds back around, his desolate eyes grabbing mine into a glare that I didn't return. He steps forward and I'm frozen in dismay. The passion he feels is thrown at me like a ball of fire and it burns as he looks at me like that.

"You're here because you regret it. You want to apologize, but you know, deep down inside, you'll never forgive me for it. I warned you to stay away but you wouldn't listen, it's all what I predicted -- you're frightened of me now." He invades my shield of armor and it feels like he has reached forward and stabbed my old wounds. Everything that I feel, he jabs at it and it pains me. My stomach rolls and I want to touch him but we never cross paths. I'm so confused by his words and how strange it was.