COMA | ziam

18: Changes

Zayn

"Dysarthria often is characterized by slurred or slow speech, and in this case Mr. Payne has been having difficulties with verbal contact, but as many things are, this will be temporary. The complications that you recieve from comas is that the severity is always different so I can't give you a definite answer, except for how lucky you are to be alive. But what I do know that is a common re-occurrence is the disability that patients undergo with moving their legs and feet. It is not forever but it will take physical therapy to remember how to move again in daily exercise for Mr. Payne. During the mean time he will be in a wheel chair and it is recommended that there is a 24-hour nurse in his home to help..."

I hear all of the words that leave the doctor's mouth, but I'm not really keeping up. I'm sitting next to Liam in his hospital bed, gazing at him with everything inside of me churning. Our shoulders brush past as I move to rest my cheek on his shoulder, fidgeting with the white hospital gown above his knee that resembled Liam's untouched, pale skin. He was so frail and weak and so dissimilar to his usual resilience and toughness. Liam was full of mysteries and now he's an open book, in need of someone to care for him. He needs help and I know Liam can't stand the thought of asking, and now he actually can't. He had to depend on a wheelchair and physical therapy and I just hoped that it didn't hurt him. I hoped he wasn't in pain or insecure about his affliction.

My hand is holding his and the humor of the situation is that my hands were always so much smaller than his. He had the big hands and the strength and bravery that I merely leaped onto.

My fingers trace every crevice in the palm of his hand, trying to find words inside of his eyes. He slowly pulls his eyes away from the doctor as the man begins to walk away, telling us that a nurse will come direct us to where we need to be. Our eyes are all that we can see and I'm swimming in the golds in his irises, feeling the warmth of love spread across my spine. His worry and discomfort makes my eyes instinctually meet his—letting him know that I'm here with ease. He knows I'd never judge him, yet it seems so reversed, he was now the person vulnerable. The person afraid.

I feel like a teenager with him, that similar bitter confusion as his chocolate eyes study mine. I stare up at him, my other hand reaching up to touch his face and I watch as his lips quirk up to a smile slightly. It blinded me as I stared at his red, thick lips, thinking about my fingers carding through his hair and pressing my mouth onto his. His lips look so soft and untarnished and I swear I could never forget those lips. His tongue is twisted in his mouth and the bump in his throat jumps as he swallows and I can't express how much I want to kiss away the worry in his mind. The action is little but so loud.

"Do you like the cards and flowers?" I ask quietly and his eyes lift from mine in a soft motion, lashes fanning across his cheeks, staring at the walls around the room with starry eyes. I only stare at his face, holding him close.

He nods, lips parting, like he wants so badly to say something but he can't. I watch as his hands slowly move and fingers twitch and I just grasp them tighter, hoping the warmth from my palms comforts him. He stares at me like he is almost afraid and I want that look to disappear, in a heart beat. I can't even handle the thought of him being scared of all of this.

I quickly let go of him, walking towards one of the cards stuck up on the wall. I unpin it and hold it out to him.

"Elliot painted this one for you with his friend Rose. They spent hours on it in the backyard, picking flowers and gluing them on. They wanted to make it just right. For you."

Do you like it papa? I miss you

Elliot painted words at the bottom of the piece of paper and the innocence and fondness that encapsulates Liam and his little boy is truly a sight to see. Liam holds the card in his hands gently, having trouble bending his knuckles, staring at the picture with love hearts and daisies and fading rose petals stuck all across it.