Scintillas ; phan au

To Me & You, 2000 Years Ago

I first met you in 764 AD, you were sat next to your mother, a twelve year old. I remember you had a bread roll in your mouth, your dirty hands gripped at the roll as if it was all you had left. Your mother had long brown hair, she always stood behind a cart full of bread as well so I assumed you belonged to a bakers. I was the son of a bishop, it was impossible for us to talk, it was forbidden by the Feudal System. 

You did attend church though, every Sunday I saw you cling to your mothers dress as Mass took place. I didn't know why, but I always wanted to talk to you but I didn't. The first time I dared ask my father he scolded me; that was when I decided to never ask him again.

Then on Christmas Day three years later while I was praying, there was a knock on the church door. I answered and it was you with your mother. You held a large basket filled with baked goods and held it out to me. I thanked you as your mother explained it was a gift for the bishop. Then my father appeared behind me and blessed both of you. I looked at you in the eye and smiled, you smiled in return and I could feel my insides burn. However the heat didn't burn, it felt nice, it was comforting. When I had a slice of the bread you had given me that day all I could think about was you.

As an act of gratitude I took a shilling out of the church's funding and ran to the bakery that night. I took your palm and pressed the shilling in the middle. I told you to spend it on anything as I blushed. That was when I noticed you could feel what I was feeling too as you kissed my cheek and went back inside. My father noticed that I had stolen from the funds and hit me that night however it  was worth it just so I could make you happy.

The next day when I walked past your bread cart, you grabbed hold of my hand. You shocked me from your sudden action before you held up a dahlia.

"The shilling," you told me. "Thank you, here you go."

That night my father hit me again.

• 

We shared our first kiss next to a windmill. We both knew no one would accept us, especially as the son of a bishop I was taught that it was against God to lay in bed with another man. However I felt like I had every right to kiss you, told hold you and steal from the church fund to provide for you. I wanted to sin for you.

My father married me to a girl when I turned sixteen. Her name was Adaline, she was nice and beautiful. Adeline was the daughter of a knight, I didn't choose to marry her, it wasn't my choice. I would have married you but we knew we couldn't, the fact that I was seeing you was a complete secret. You didn't  want me to marry either but you also knew it was no choice of ours.

Two weeks later Adeline got pregnant, my father blessed our family during Mass and Adeline's father was also just as pleased. I kept seeing you though, despite knowing I was having a child I still only loved you. You gave me dahlia's whenever I saw you and I would give you a shilling. We always met by that windmill, we would share kisses and hold each other close. I wished I could marry you.

Nine months later, Adeline gave birth to a boy, his name was George and seemed to take more after his mother. When I first introduced you to him, your eyes lit up despite the child not being ours. George seemed to enjoy sitting in your arms and you seemed to enjoy holding him. I wished George was our child.

You were still not married by the time George became one year of age, your father had passed and you had taken up the bakery. I stopped by everyday to buy bread from you until one day I turned up and your mother was serving instead. I asked her where you were and she informed me that you weren't well. In panic I asked if I could see you, luckily your mother obliged. Your room was dark and dirty, a lugubrious aura lingered over us both as I entered the room.  I knelt down next to your bed where you laid. You were white as a sheet but your felt hot. I prayed for you and held your hand. Your grip tightened as you felt my hand slip into yours.

"Sorry, I couldn't get you a dahlia," you had croaked to me.

"That's okay," I said to you. "I don't have a shilling either."

Then I kissed you, our tongues wrapped around each other in a loving heat that I had been longing for. The passion burned in my stomach and my heart pumped. I loved you, I really did. I stayed with you that night, my hand still wrapped in yours. I almost refused to leave you for the next few days but I had work to attend to. I then returned to my father's church, I walked up to him at the alter and begged him to bless you. However when we arrived at yours we were greeted by your grieving mother. I took straight to your room, I couldn't believe it, you couldn't have died so easily from this disease. I collapsed beside your bed and grabbed your chin. I kissed you but you didn't respond. Tears began to stream down my cheeks, I didn't want to believe it at all, I had even brought you a shilling.

"But Daniel I love you, you can't go yet, Daniel you can't," I shouted at you.

I watched as your chest didn't rise, your brown eyes stared at the ceiling of your dingy room. They were misty and they didn't glimmer, I hated it, why wouldn't you respond?

"Daniel talk to me," I grabbed your hand and heard the footsteps of my father behind me.

I sobbed into your chest.

"Philip what do you think you're doing? Mourn more respectfully please, his mother is present," my father said to me.

"I apologise," I stood up but I couldn't take my eyes off you. "I love him though father."

After that my father hit me, it had been first time he had done that since I had gotten married.

"My son and I will being taking our leave, I do apologise for your loss."

  •   

My execution was organised three days later. However I didn't care, it was selfish, I was close to becoming a pastor and had a family. Adeline would be taken in by her father again with George, they were forbidden from seeing me till the execution however I didn't want to see them, I just wanted to see you, Daniel.

My father and others had accused me to sinning and being possessed by the devil as out of bereavement and anger I confessed my love for you over and over. My cell door was opened and the knight lead me out into the middle of the quad in town. There stood my death trap, a noose hung down from a wooden contraption but it didn't phase me. I was ready to die.

They placed my head into the noose and tightened it. They then tied my feet together as the crowd jeered,  as far as they knew I was a devil spawn, this was all a spectacle of entertainment. My eyes met with Adeline's, they were filled with tears and she held George but he was looking away. I was glad she wouldn't let  him see his father's death, I had secretly hoped he was too young to remember me and would grow up to never know of his father. 

The people's voices turned into white noise and I didn't listen.

Then my body dropped.

  •   

So that was the first chapter!

As a side note, these chapters will probably be quite short but hopefully sweet... or maybe sour? Who knows ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Ellie