The Guardian Angel - Translation

1. I do not need help

I woke up with a terrible headache, though at least the middle of the furnished me a great techno party. I had dry lips and chapped. Damn I wanted to drink. I hauled out of bed, swaying on his feet. I hurt my spine, so I was convinced that I had on the way home included, some spectacular encounter with the ground. At this point, I could only guessing, because once again scored abrupt film. I happened to it more often. And I'm still not admitted to this, even to myself that I needed help. That accident confused and begin to sink into the swamp harder. Without any control. 

A year ago I had an accident. Me and my brother. I was in a family Sydney. They both came back from her grandmother, who lives on the outskirts of the city. Jack did not want to go there too, because I had an appointment for the evening with his fiancée, but eventually was persuaded to visit with old ladies. In the end we stayed in Australia from time to time due to the team and the career that we have with the guys spin. If I knew how to end our trip innocent, I would not convince him to come up with me to the car.

On the way back, with great force, he drove us drunk man. The blow was so strong that zaliczyliśmy not only overturning, but close contact with roadside trees that massacred our car. I came out of this with a cut on his head, concussion and broken ribs. Jack ... My older brother did not survive. If the belts, which was fastened robust, anything could have ended differently. To date, often at night haunt me the sight of his empty blue eyes and blood flowing down his face.

After that, everything fell apart. At first it did not occurred to me that one of my brothers is dead. They never talk with him, we will not argue and do not choose the party together, teasing Benowi- the oldest of the three of us. After leaving the hospital, I was still numb and did not believe what happened. I took all the blame on himself. That I wanted to went with me. It was I forced him to back sat as a passenger, but he wanted to follow. If we then swapped places, he would have survived. And I ... It was no longer important.

Jack had plans. A lot of plans. He proposed to his girlfriend, and together they planned the wedding. All in all, I can bet that now would have a happy marriage. But fate thwarted his intentions, crossing the line of life. What if he did not look, I put my arm.

I barely remember the funeral. I was so disconnected and mentally're on your own mother. Completely I contacted and did not know what was happening to me. Then, when everyone thought that somehow I managed to get to his feet, I chose to escape. I packed up and went back to Los Angeles. I cut off from family, unable to bear their compassionate eyes, weeping parents and eternal ensure me that it was not my fault. It was, is and will be.

Then everything went as downhill. I was sure that throwing himself into work will help me to recover. I was wrong. I could not focus on trying about writing another song I could only dream of. I knew that I begin to pull our team down. And I nohow could not control it and improve.

Another escape proved to be an alcohol. Alcohol and eternal events by which kept thinking, pulling away from the brutal world in which I was stuck. I led to the fact that our manager ordered a break. He did not wondered. I lost control, rejecting any help. Even that quoted by friends. I was sure that everything is in order, and the truth was quite different. Adam's decision was correct. Who knows if there would come the moment in which I would not be able to go on stage and meet with fans. In this situation all possible.

As our band 5 Seconds of Summer was really popular, not spared me numerous articles in newspapers or online. People felt sorry for me at the beginning of the tragedy, and then with the accuracy described my fall, in which he sank more and more. Boys and Adam gets mad every time a paparazzi caught me barely conscious, returning home in the morning. I knew that I spoil her idealized image, I had to sell. Not occurred to me, however, it is that at the same time pull the whole team at the bottom. I became the black sheep, having the other somewhere and what was happening to me. Every day losing fans disappointed, they moved his sympathy for the other team members. I'd be lying if I said that I was somehow care. It was not important to me.