Trying Too Hard [Bunny Love Story]

►Chapter Twelve◄

Some people like to think that they can shape their own future with hard work and determination. They think that if they really set their mind to something then they will no doubt achieve it sooner or later. Other people think that it's all up to destiny - fate shapes their future. They think it's God's plan, or whatever higher power they believe in, not their own. I am no philosopher, and therefore I can't give an accurate response as to whether or not one of these ideas is true. However, I can most definitely give my opinion. In the past I used to think that you make your own reality, that nothing is real unless you believe it to be. I thought that you could make any dream a reality, that nothing can stop you.

Now, as Kenny stood before me in this dark classroom, I think my opinion has changed a bit. If it had been my way, I would have been able to get away without Kenny knowing a thing. Instead, he stood right before me. Was it fate? Or maybe it was Kenny who was shaping his future and not me. Either way, my dream was to never get caught, to admire him from afar. So much for that. After he had greeted me, I wasn't sure on what I was supposed to say in response. Carry on casual conversation? I didn't think that was going to work in this situation.

Kenny was only a few inches away by this point, and had taken his hands out of his pockets to grab my mask. "Should've dressed up as Mysterion," he whispered to himself with a slight chuckle. I blushed and looked away from him. "I knew it was you," he finally continued.

"Wh-what are you doing here?" I asked, glanced over to him as he stared down at the mask that was now resting between his palms. "Did you follow me..?"

"I made sure that it was my turn to manage the cameras," sighed Kenny. He handed me back my mask and pushed his hands into his pockets. "I knew you'd be out tonight."

"Why'd you lie to me?" I asked skeptically, taking a subconscious step back. He made no move to come near me.

"I wanted you to confess," he shrugged. "I thought if I lied maybe you'd prove me wrong."

Jeez, I almost did do that..

There was an awkward silence between us, the only noise being the wind hitting against the window panes. After putting my mask back on, I opened my mouth to question him further, but was interrupted by Kenny himself. "Why did you vandalize my house?" he asked. He seemed aloof, and I began to wonder if he was angry with me for doing such a thing.

"I-I..." What the heck was I supposed to tell him?! That I did it because I was in love with him and had been since elementary school? I know I'm not the brightest bulb in the box, but even I knew that that might not go down so well. "It's just.. You see.." He stared at me expectantly and I shut my eyes tightly and rubbed my knuckles together so quickly that it started to burn. "I-I've had a crush on you for th-the longest time, and-and I wanted to send a message to you somehow but I didn't want ya to know it was m-me!" I said it so fast that I stumbled over a few words and had to take several deep breaths just to catch up with it. After a moment of silence, I slowly opened my eyes and peered up at him carefully. He was just sort of staring at me, and I couldn't make out the expression he was wearing. "I-I'm sorry, Ken.." I hung my head low and played with my fingers.

"So.. you drew an eyeball on my house?" he asked after a minute.

Blushing due to the way he stated it, I slowly nodded. "We-well, yeah.. But that was th-the first part of my message..."

"Message?" Kenny raised an eyebrow. I nodded and when he realized that I wasn't going to continue explaining, he let out a small sigh. "You know, you could have just written me an anonymous letter or something."

"Y-you mean like in The Love Letter?" I questioned, recalling how great of a movie that was. He raised his eyebrows, obviously not knowing what I was talking about. I gulped and shook my head lightly. "Sorry, bud. Writing that just isn't really.. me."

Kenny paused for a minute before glancing around the room. "What was the last thing you painted?"

Looking down, I responded; "Your initials..." Kenny nearly face palmed.

"They really will suspect me," he sighed, shaking his head. Looking back up, he watched my every move and I watched his eyes. His beautiful, blue eyes.. "Butters, I'm sorry but I never thought of you that way," - there goes my heart - "and besides that we have bigger things than crushes to worry about."

What could possibly be bigger than my love for you?

"L-like what?" I decided to ask instead.

Kenny put a hand on my shoulder and gently turned my around so that I was facing the window. Then, he pushed me towards it so lightly I was beginning to wonder why he was being so soft with me. "Like getting you home without getting caught."

"Oh, right.." I walked to the window and quietly opened it back up. "Um.. K-Ken?"

"What?" he asked as he followed me outside.

I shut the door behind us and turned to face him again. "You aren't too cross are ya?"

Kenny furrowed his eyebrows and watched me for a moment. "I mean, yeah. I'm a bit mad, dude. That was my house." I knocked my knuckles together. "Just get home, dude."

"O-okay.." I looked at him as he waved and then turned around to walk away from me. I frowned to myself and hung my head low before slowly walking back home.

The reality of it is that Kenny would never harbor any sort of romantic feelings toward me, and if I really could shape my future then this wouldn't have happened and later on down the road we'd be married. I could so vividly see us watching movies together and playing games, maybe adopting a child or two.. But that's just not how life works.