Trying Too Hard [Bunny Love Story]

►Chapter Eighteen◄

Time and time again I've questioned all of my life choices. Was displaying my feelings really worth secretly raising money and buying spray cans to trespass and paint surfaces that didn't belong to me? Of course, then I'd always think to myself; that's like saying Kenny wasn't worth the trouble, which isn't true at all. To me, Kenny McCormick was worth everything. I'd go through Hell and back just to hold his hand and all..

I love him.

Yet it's also the only reason I'm practically being held hostage by Eric. Being blackmailed isn't all that fun, but I'd rather have it held against me than publicized.

Sometimes I wonder to myself if there's someone out there, just one person that has sinned the way I have. While there are awful people out there, I personally think I'm the worst. I deserve every punishment imaginable, and hope that a string of consequences will follow me to Hell and back for all the crud I've done.

My first punishment will be for complying to Eric's every wish. I keep making up excuses for myself, like; "But he blackmailed me!" and "But I wasn't gonna look through these answers or nothing!"

But, but, but - but nothing! Butters,, just face it. You suck.

And that little condescending voice in the back of my head is right. I do suck. At everything and anything I even try to attempt. I suck at keeping my feelings in, I suck at graffiti art, I suck at listening to my parents.. Ah, heck! I'd even suck at sucking Kenny's wiener! But in that moment, what I really sucked at was not getting caught. Because jsut when I thought I was going to make it out alive, completely scot-free, Mrs. Romero walked right in - and she looked real ticked off. Behind her, I could spot Eric walking away from us innocently.

"Leopold Stotch!" she huffed, red-faced and wet-mouthed. Her knuckled flowed white and her face was all scrunched up and creased in this really unattractive manner. I was actually kind of scared, if I had to tell you the truth. It's a darn good thing that she couldn't read my thoughts, or else I'd really get in trouble!

"Oh - uh - hi there Mrs. Romero!"

If we were in a cartoon, her eyes would be made of fire and smoke would be flowing out of her ears. "Just what the Hell do you think you're doing!"

Gulping down a rock in my throat, I looked down at the answer sheets I had attempted to steal from her and bit my lip. "Oh, these..?" I chuckled nervously, unsure of what to say next.

"Give them to me. Right now." The tone in her voice only proved she wasn't kidding around, so I reluctantly walked closer to her. She snatched the papers from my hands and I winced out of instinct. "I want my keys back as well. How on Earth did you even get them?!" she firmly questioned me. I handed her back the keys and before I could even respond, she pushed passed me and shoved the answers back into their respective drawer. She slammed it shut and locked it with such force that I took a step back. I didn't even know I was rubbing my knuckles together until they started to hurt.

"I-I'm real sorry..." I stated once she was looking back at me.

"No," she responded. "You're not. You're  only sorry that you got caught."

I stayed silent. It wasn't a true accusation, what she had just said, but I thought that if I pushed it anymore she'd hit me or something. I really was sorry I took her papers, though. Not for the fact that I was found out at all. If I had to be completely honest, a part of me was iping she'd catch me redhanded.

Because I deserve to get into loads of trouble.

"Follow me," she breathed out. I couldn't tell if her sigh was one of irritation or not, but I bowed my head and trudged after her once she passed me again.

It didn't take me too long to realize that we were heading towards the principal's office, and halfway there I spotted Kenny just walking out of the restrooms. He gave me a curious look, but all I did in response was look away and continue down the hall. It took everything in me not to glance back at him.

"You do realize that what you were about to do was a terrible thing, right" Mrs. Romero spoke up.

"Uh, y-yes ma'am."

"And you're about to get into a whole lot of trouble."

"Yeah..." I glanced up at her. "But, golly gee, I really am sorry!"

"Well," she said as we arrived at the office. "Sorry doesn't fix anything, does it?" She knocked on the door and after receiving a 'come in' from the principal, opened it and gestured for me to walk in first. "Mr. Jiggins, this boy was trying to steal my class's answer sheet for an upcoming test."

"Is that so?" asked the principal. "Sit down then. Mrs. Romero, you may leave. I'll handle this for now." As instructed, Mrs. Romero left and it was just him and I. Mr. Jiggins has only been our high school's principal for about a year now, because our old one was fired for abusing drugs and even buying some off of any drug dealing students. Anyway, from what I know Mr. Jiggins is a much better principal than our old one. His white hair, big gut, and rosy cheeks made him look a lot jollier than the last younger, buffer, and creepier looking principal. "Now son, why the heck did you steal those papers?"

"Uhh..." I began as I got myself comfortable in the chair across from his desk. I was fiddling with my fingers and sweating. "W-well, I mean, to get answers.." I decided to cover for Eric. I'd rather get in trouble for this than vandalism and trespassing.

"And why couldn't you just study like any other student?"

"Um... B-because..." I couldn't think of a good lie and just sort of stared at my lap awkwardly.

Mr. Jiggins didn't seem like he wanted me to just sit there in silence for however long he was planning on keeping me in the office, so he sighed and continued on. "It's unfair to the other kids that actually work hard for good grades. I'm afraid I'm going to have to call your parents, and we'll all figure out a good punishment for you."

"Okay..." I said, keeping my head low and rubbing my knuckles together awkwardly. I felt my phone vibrate once in my pocket, informing me that someone sent me a message. I thought it was weird, because I don't really have friends unless it was Eric telling me that I was good-for-nothing. I opted to just wait until I was out of the office to look at it, though. "I-I'm sorry, sir.." I told him, just so that he knew I really did fee bad about it.

All he did was nod his head and pull out my file. He dialed in a number and pressed the phone to his ear. I didn't bother listening to the conversation he was having with my folks. I just really hoped that my mom wouldn't be too furious when I got home..