I'm Sorry I Loved You

Part 5

It was that bombshell, that very bombshell that changed everything. I was so suprised when you told me that I actually refused to believe it at first! then I decided that I would miss you too much so I was gunna come with you! Why did I do that Jase? why didn't you stop me! I suppose it was for the best though. You probably hate me right now! and do you know what? I don't blame you one bit.

*Flashback*

"I've joined the army"

I was speechless, I didn't know what to say.

"what"

"I know I know! this is pretty big! but this is something I've actually wanted to do for a while now..." he trailed off

"Jay, this is huge!"

he looked to the ground

"you could die Jason!"

"jesus elli! could ya be anymore negative? Jase laughed

"this isn't funny! when do you leave?"

"sorry! I leave for Afghanistan on Monday"

"so soon?"

"yea"

I thought for a moment, I can't believe I'm gunna do this! I'm risking my own life here! but hey! anything for Jase right?

"I'm coming too" I finally replied

'what!"

"I'm going to Afghanistan too!"

"wait, seriously!"

"yupp"

"you've actually signed up for the army!?"

"Yes!"

Jase just looked at me, this time, he was the one left speechless!

Suddenly, a pair of soft moist lips conncected with mine. Sparks flew in all directions. It was the best kiss in the world! I can't even describe it! It was wonderful! magical even! and I never wanted it to end. But sadly, I did. Jase suddenly broke free and looked at me right in the eyes, tears forming in the corners.

"be careful out there" he told me.

*2 weeks later*

It's been a whole week of the Army in Afghanistan and I really wish I stayed at home! everytime there's an attack I Swear I'm gunna die! I know I won't be coming home, I just know it!

Where in the forest at the moment, just waiting for an attack. Jase is right behind me.

BANG! BANG! BANG!

oh god! another attack!

men with guns chase us all around the forest, guns shots can be heard from all directions and nearly every minute you can see random explosions happening everywhere!

I can't find Jase anywhere!

I just run and run and run as I don't know what else to do.

Suddenly, I see Jason In front of me, he is coming towards me and then he is yelling something that I can't make out. Suddenly, I hear a bang and I feel a throbbing pain in my chest. My vision goes blurry and My hearing goes quieter as I slowly fall to the ground in pain.

I realise whats happened.

I've been shot.

I'm gunna die.

This really is it.

Jason is immediately by my side.

"OH MY GOD NO! ELLIS PLEASE! DON'T LEAVE ME!! OH GOD NO!!"

Tears streamed down his face.

"Jace" I said weakly, my heart beat slowing.

"Jace? nobody's called me that since..."

"Emma" The truth was out... well not exactly, but it was about to be.

"how do you know about Emma? I never told you about her before"

We looked straight into eachothers eyes.

"no..." Jace's eyes went wide.

"Hi Jace"

Jason put his hand through my hair, removing the wig in the process, revealing my naturally long blonde hair.

"why em? WHY!" Jase cried the hardest he's ever cried before.

"for you Jace" I could feel the life leaving my body as I forced my eyes to stay open.

"I love you"

The last thing I remember Is seeing Jason run off into the distance before I finally shut my eyes and died.

*End Of Flashback*

Now here I lie, on the forest floor, lifeless but free, free from all the pain you caused me, free from a world in which I didn't belong.

here I lie, the gun still next to me from where the guy who shot me dropped it and ran. I'm still bleeding, and not just physicly, I'm bleeding mentally because I know you will never love me. You probably hate me right now. I hate me too.

But even though you may hate me, even though you will never love me, I will always love you Jason. ALWAYS. I will continue to watch over you and protect you while I'm in heaven and I will do so until the day you finally join me. I love you Jason, Always have, Always will <3

but for now, I'm afraid, This is Goodbye.

Goodbye Jason.

Lots and Lots of Love, From

Emma.