I'm Sorry I Loved You

Part 6 (Final Part)

Dear Emma

I still can't believe your gone. I miss you so much Em! I can't even cope half the time! The truth is... I need you. I don't hate you at all! how could I ever hate you? Em, You are the most beautiful, wonderful, amazing, talented, incredible girl I know!

I rememeber all of our magical memories together! I remember every second of evey moment. They were so special to me. You were so damn precious to me! and I went and lost you didn't I! I will never be able to forgive myself for that! I couldn't even save you when you where stuck in that tree that time when we were 8! I didn't know what to do so I went and made a stupid picnic to habe wih you in the tree! so you weren't lonely! It was so lame! You seemed to like it though! so thats good!

I remember when I told you I was gay when we were 11! You looked so upset! I knew I had hurt you somehow, I didn't know it at the time, but I realise now that you had feelings for me. I can't even imagine how you must have felt back then! you must have been completely broken!

I'm sorry Em, I really am!

The one memory I will definitely never forget (apart from your death) is when we first met, In nursery school, when those horrible boys tried to beat you up! I swear I could have killed them right there and then! how dare they hurt the beautiful princess! It killed me to see you get hurt! it almoat hurt as not seeing or speaking to you for about 7 years! That was so painful! I really can't explain it! I couldn't even look at another girl without thinking about you! I miss you so much Em!

The truth is... I knew you where Ellis all along! I can recognise those bright blue eyes anywhere! nice try Em! I can't actually believe you would do that for me! thats incredible! I just wish I had stopped you from going to Afghanistan! I knew it wasn't safe!!

Now thanks to me, your dead! you've gone and your never coming back.

Thinking about that just kills me completely!

The thing is Em... I'm actually not gay, I'm bi-sexual! and I'm in love with you <3 I love you so much Em! I always have and I always will! Never forget that and never forget about me either!

I will never forget you Emma! You are the Lungs and Heart of my body. You keep me breathing.

I Love you so much Emma!

I'll join you up in heaven soon, don't you worry!

but for now, I'm afraid sadly, this is goodbye.

Goodbye My Love <3

Lots and Lots of Love Forever From,

Jason. xxx