Live Free

Better As A Memory

"Death leaves a heartache that no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I only missed her more as the days passed. 

She wasn't there anymore, and I could hardly stand it. People say that as time passes, grief gets easier to overcome. It wasn't that way for me. If anything, the pain only increased and grew to be almost unbearable. There was constantly this part of me that wanted to know why. Why did she have to leave me here alone to fend for myself? I kept the note she left, but never dared to touch or open it. The urge to read it was never there, and I knew that one day I would read it when the time was right. 

My body craved the missing feeling of her warmth pressed up against me when we used to sleep next to each other at night. Nothing much seemed to help or make the longing go away. Therapists couldn't get through to me; even drugs didn't make me feel the same way as they had before. The only thing that slightly let me relax was my music, but I never brought myself to touch Sky's play list she kept on Youtube. It was all too soon. 

Guess I should explain what happened after carrying her body to the paramedics. Well, they took her away. When that white sheet was folded over was the moment I finally broke down. Let's not go into details, bottom line there were some broken things I had to pay for. Okay fine, I kicked down a fence post and punched through a glass window. 

None of the men complained while all of that was going on, they just allowed me to let my anger out with sullen facial expressions. They could sense that she meant something special to me. What they didn't understand was that she meant everything to me. 

After they took her away, one of the cops told me to get in the car. Thankfully, they didn't arrest me, but in all honesty I probably wouldn't have cared if they had. Could you get put in jail for being a teenage runaway? Still don't know the answer to that, but I was never snapped in cuffs and that's all that mattered. Guilt prevented them from doing it. 

They did, however, take me down to their station. On the way there, my stomach got all queasy and I realized it was from car sickness. It had been such a long time since I'd been driving; the motion and the blur of trees as they passed by were like a whole new experience for me. My eyes were closed the entire time, and I never paid attention to how long the drive was. 

When we got there, a bunch of cops stared at me, sympathy clear in their eyes. Supposedly, the cop driving had radioed the others nearby that him and his partner had found the mission teenagers, or at least, one of them. He had to explain that the other one was dead, and hearing those words made everything seem just more real. 

When we walked into the station, the cop guided me into an empty investigation room.

"Tyler, your parents have been called and are on their way to pick you up. Would you like a cup of coffee?"

Although I'd been missing my parents like crazy over the past months, seeing them in the flesh wasn't something I was prepared to do. There was nothing in me that wanted to go back to everything. Going home would mean that my adventure with Sky was over, and I wanted it all back instead. And to think, this morning had been so normal and happy go lucky. We had plenty of food and supplies; there wasn't anything to worry about.

It was hard to believe this horrific event only occurred a few hours ago. I tried to imagine how life would have gone on if none of this had happened. The cop's voice broke me away from my thoughts. 

"I would like to ask you a few questions right now before you leave. I understand your emotions are in a disarray, so I'm just going to state out loud what I've been told and you tell me if it's true or not. We can set a date for the real questions another day. Deal?" he asked. I nodded my head.