Never One To Ask (Book 2) (Completed)

Chapter 13: No Conciliation

This morning was an emotional blur that I'd like to forget. After last weekend's encounter with Jasean, I took some time to contemplate if this is really such a bad thing that we still talk to each other. Though we've done much more than talk in our intimate meetings with one another, I felt that this might be a good way to establish a boundary of 'no hard feelings'. I was wrong.

I questioned myself 'why?' so many times before texting him again last night. Why do I need to feel his warmth, touch, and caresses to my skin again? To remind myself that he's not a bad person. To tell myself that he didn't mean all those harsh things he said to me. He meant to grab me sweetly instead of with force when he hurt me. I say all these things because I know him, I know what he's like and he most definitely is not a monster contrary to his actions.

But in contrast; I show the complete opposite. I make him feel like he meant it, because he did hurt me at one point. I've become cold-hearted towards him because I don't need him to know how I truly feel. I make him believe that quickies are all our relationship will ever amount to again because he threw me away so quickly.

I texted him last night, once again; just as I did the week before. He replied without hesitation and arrived when he said he would. This was not a surprise to me, this is the whole point. To have him hooked just as much as he was before we started the 'love drought' as I'd like to call it. So now, he knows I can't live without his presence and he will try; endlessly trying to get me back, little by little. But this will never happen again, I will never belong to him again.

I'd made up my mind right after he left that I'd never speak to him again. In his mind, I'm easy. I'm the one that never got away, the one he could so easily get back if he tried, if he put in just the right amount of effort. Well, that's not me; I'm not that girl. It's not that easy. I have the last word, just like he did when he walked out of that office. Now, it's my turn; I'm walking out, with no trace of a return.

With that being said, I feel kinda bad about last night. I kinda regret it. But the fact that he was gone by the time I woke up this morning makes up for that feeling. It's a new day, and I can officially start over.

I got up and got ready for the day before eating breakfast, and now I'm on my way out the door. I figured that today, I'd pamper and spoil myself before going to work because I so desperately need it. My hair has grown out a lot since my abuelita first cut it, so my first stop is the beauty salon. I miss my layered bob, so much that I'm getting it cut exactly the same way.

Next, I'm going to the mall to get a few outfits for my trip to Colorado. I'm going to visit the campus with my mom next month to see what living there will be like before I officially agree to be their student. I really want to do it, I wanna follow my dreams. And now that this relationship is over, I can go and be free in Colorado without having to worry if Jasean's doing the same thing.

I'm clocking into work as I turn around to see my coworker's shocked face. "You cut your hair!" Regina exclaims as I pull down my uniform shirt. She works with me as an apparel team member at the department store. "It looks great on you." She nods as she adjusts her round, vintage glasses.

"Thanks, Reggie!" I say. She hates going by her first name. Reggie is a slim, brown-skinned girl with a very eclectic, tom-boy type of style. She has auburn dyed dreads that are usually in a bun on top of her head with silver and gold cusps on them. The back of her head is shaved and tapered down the nape of her neck. Her image is very admirable and complements her personality perfectly.

"So, what did you get into this weekend? Anything fun?" She questions as she grabs the keys to the inventory closet. I quickly shake my head and look down at her baby pink adidas. She knows those are against regulatory code; but being that the manager's never here anyway, it doesn't matter I guess. She loves showing off her shoe game, and as long as she's wearing her fitted uniform with them, she's okay. "What?! Absolutely nothing? That's gotta be a lie, Keri. You mean to tell me, you had absolutely nothing to do this weekend, and you didn't hit me up?" She laughs.

I simply smile at her slim frame and help her pull down the new boxes of t-shirts that were dropped off. I know she's only trying to cheer me up. Reggie can sense people's auras right before they even enter her presence. It's weird; really, but it's the thing I love the most about her. She told me that she can sense when someone is trustworthy or not just by looking at them and I believe her because she tells me I'm one of the good ones who just make silly mistakes sometimes; which is true.

"Who is he? New guy in your life?" Her psychic abilities get on my nerves sometimes; she knows so much about me before I can even figure it out myself. I trust Reggie as my coworker, but I'm not sure I'm ready to share personal details about my love life with her; not just yet.

"No one new. More like someone from a past life," I explain. She nods her head slowly in understanding as she retrieves hangers for the t-shirts.

"Yeah, I see that. I see him. Physical appearances can change, but your aura never lies," she whispers with a playful smile.

This takes me back a little. I use the opportunity to see how much she already knows, and if there is something that I don't. "Can I ask you something, Reggie?" She turns her attention directly to my eyes as she stops what she's doing, an expecting look on her face.

"Anything."

"Do you trust him? The guy you see?" Reggie takes a minute to think as she looks around the small room observingly. Then, she just starts nodding. I swear, her clairvoyance creeps me out sometimes, but it draws me so much closer to her. For some reason, I feel safe. She's like an angel in disguise.

"Well, I can't typically read someone's aura without being in their presence," she begins. "But judging yours, he has a deep affect on your heart. Not a good one either. I shouldn't really be the one to tell you," she says as she plays with her cartilage piercing in her right ear.

"I have to know if this is a good thing," I explain. "Tell me," I say with a smile.

She sighs and shrugs her shoulders. "Okay, well... they fucked you over, you feel that too. But, they're going to make it right. Well, he'll try. I'd just say be careful, it's murky," she says referring to the color. Anything "murky" to her is bad. "To answer your question, I don't know. I don't know if I could trust him, because he hurt you," she tells me honestly.

"That means a lot, Reggie," I say while looking down at my entwined fingers. "Thanks."

"No problem. Now." She hands me her clipboard and pen to take inventory. "Get back to work, Keri," she jokingly grins as she walks out of the closet, leaving me to count and fold alone while she works the floor. I roll my eyes as I laugh aloud.

————————————
Filler chapter 😒 but a bit of foreshadowing 👀 Stay tuned...