Never One To Ask (Book 2) (Completed)

Chapter 9: Extirpation

Pouting and sulking myself into misery, I sit at the edge of my big bed, wondering where we went wrong. How did things go so far left after everything was just right? I can safely say that I no longer miss him; I just want him dead. I'm so angry now; I could kill him my damn self. I wish I could throw my room around on him and see how he likes it.

Thinking of the action, I look at the charm bracelet on my dresser. I walk towards it, picking it up by the heart charm. I swiftly rip it apart, tearing it at the linking chain. Those things take forever and are very tedious to fix. I instantly regret it; until I break another to make myself feel better. I break another and another until each charm is now isolated itself on my floor. I sigh at the sight.

I decide to distract myself by walking into my closet, searching for something to wear. I come across an old pair of shorts that make my bottom look really nice, and begin to try them on once I remember who they're from; him. Fiercely, I chuck them to the other side of my walk-in; searching for something else. Unfortunately, my whole closet is full of little reminders of his abundant love for me. 'Always buying me gifts.' I scoff to myself. What happens when these gifts no longer mean anything to me?

Rapidly, I find myself ripping all my articles of clothing from the hangers and hooks, throwing everything to the ground. I'm tired of looking at the same clothes anyway. I should go out and treat myself to something new after work.

After unsuccessfully transferring my attention to something else other than my ex, I walk towards my window, hoping to gain some clarity and comfort from the simplicity of nature. But of course, the baby blue bulletin board on my wall behind the body mirror catches my attention first. Pictures of me and him in various places, even a picture of the day I first met him; kissing his cheek. I was always smiling with him. I wonder what changed that detail of our relationship.

Reaching for the portraits I tear them down in anger; ripping each and every one of them, mainly at his face. After a while, I notice my tornado of a room and closet and begin to cry. I fall to the floor, sobbing in vulnerability. I'm so unsure of how to get over this; how to get over him.

And the sad part is, nobody even knows that I'm suffering this major heartbreak, not even my own mom. With our conflicting schedules and me preparing for Colorado, we hardly see each other that often. She doesn't even know Jay and I have split. I don't even know how to bring it up. And I know that she won't wanna hear any part of it until I clean my room.

******

"You haven't?!" Selina gawks at me after I've just explained how Jaylen and I haven't spoken in weeks; not since the laundry day at my house. I really miss my best friend.

I shake my head. "Not a word," I reply. I think about all the calls I've avoided from Jasean just like my calls that Jaylen's been avoiding.

Selina sucks her teeth before plopping down on my champagne colored sofa. "I'm sorry; I really am," she says honestly.

I nod my head as I sit beside her. "I know, it's not entirely your fault. I should've told her sooner. Can't keep secrets from your best friends," I remind her. Laying on her shoulder, I pull her close as she rubs my head.

"Speaking of secrets," she mumbles. "There's one that I can't keep from you any longer." I turn my head up to hers, reading her eyes.

"What?"

Her eyelids squeeze shut as she sighs. "Kael and I had sex... There. It's out," she breathes heavily. I pull away from her embrace, but she just tugs on my arm. "Keri please don't be mad at me. I'm sorry for not telling you."

I look into her slanted, Asian eyes with a half smile. "I already knew," I tell her. Her eyebrows furrow in questioning. "Did you really think he wouldn't tell me the real reason why you call him Perry? He's my best friend Selina. And I thought you were too."

Her top-knot bun falls to the front of her head as she puts her head down. "I knoooow," she whines. "It was a one-time thing. I didn't feel the need to tell you because you're happy with Jasean," she explains while reading my saddened expression at the name. "Aren't you?"

I shake my head as an unwanted tear rolls down my cheek. Quickly, I wipe it away as I look at her. "Ohh, Keriii," Selina sings as she pulls me into a tight hug. "What happened?"

"He hurt me. I had to breakup with him," I confide in her as she holds me on her chest.

"Physically?" She whispers the question softly. I nod against her cotton shirt.

"He called me a bitch too. And he cheated on me." Explaining all the details makes my heart collapse into my stomach.

"Oh, HELL NO!" She yells, making me jump a little. "Where did he hurt you?" She grabs my face in her chubby hands, inspecting my face.

I point to my neck where the scar was starting to go away. It healed pretty quickly. "He was throwing stuff around his room and a pencil or something stabbed me," I explain with a sniffle. "It was an accident; I know, but it still hurt." Selina examines my skin, lightly grazing two fingers over the healed wound.

"No, fuck him. That's not an accident; he should've controlled his temper," she explains. "You can't see him again, Keri. He'll only apologize and you'll get back together with him and the next time, it'll be worse." I simply look down, the realization that what she's saying is true makes me even sadder. But Jasean is not abusive; not my baby. He would never hurt me. 'But, he did,' my brain reminds me.

"Do you hear me, K?! You cannot speak to him again, whatsoever; do you understand?" She questions me in seriousness, holding my face up and close to hers. I nod my head solemnly as I heed her warning. I simply wish that what she is telling me wasn't true, but in the back of my mind, I know she's right. And I better take her advice.

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Circles x Mariah Carey