Never One To Ask (Book 2) (Completed)

Chapter 30: The Dreamer

The smell of cigarettes captures the attention of my nose. I turn my head to the right as I can feel an entity approaching me. A gasp leaves my lips as I see Kevin. My eyes look at him in bewilderment, fear and anxiety.

"Sorry," he nervously coughs; putting out his cigarette, stomping it into the playground mulch with his doc martin's. "Forgot how much you hated cigs."

I start to leave, but then I realize this may be the only chance I have at ever receiving an apology from him.

Kevin smirks his boyish smile, swooping his hair back out of his eyes. His right arm comes into view, bearing a teddy bear in hand. It's as though he's pulled it out of the air. "Heard you were pregnant," he says coolly and nonchalant as he shoves it my way. I nod my head, still in shock, and unsure of what to say. I don't take the bear. "The bear is for the baby." He continues to hold it out for me to take, but I don't.

My face is suddenly flushed with heat and my throat is throbbing to keep down a sound. A tear rolls down my cheek as I look into his blue eyes. I'm so unsure of what to look for in them; sincerity, sadness, remorse. He seems numb as always; totally unreadable.

"I just..." He takes a deep breath before taking a seat beside me on the bench, placing the bear on the wooden table in front of us. "I want to apologize, Keri." The words are like music to my ears, but they still don't mean enough. A part of me is relieved. He's admitting that he knows exactly what he did to me, he knows he's done wrong.

"Not for what I did, but for what I have to do," he explains. I look at him in confusion.

"Are you going to turn yourself in?" It's the first words I've spoken to him since I've seen him and my voice sounds so meek and foreign. I sound so scared to ask him anything; because I am.

He chuckles aloud, laughing to himself as he looks at the bear. "No, Keri." His demeaning and condescending tone has come back. "Ya see, that baby in your stomach doesn't belong to me and therefore I have the right to get rid of it." He snarls through gritted teeth and his eyes turn wild as though he's angry with me. I begin to get up from the bench, I feel too scared to be alone with him.

He used to get like this before hitting me and I have to be a better parent now and protect myself better than I did back then. But Kevin grabs my wrist, forcing me into his tight grip. He pulls a small pocket knife from his shoe and I begin to sob uncontrollably. That young girl inside me is back, too scared to know what to do.

I scream and scream, loud with my lungs. But Kevin doesn't let go. Instead, he flicks the pocket knife open, looking down at my arrested wrist. "I'm sorry, Keri. But you promised me." I can't help but wonder what exactly I promised him. My virginity? My innocence? My confidence and self esteem? He took almost everything, what more could he want?

This can't be how it ends for me. What will everyone say? No one will ever know what he did to me. And the baby...

The baby.

"The baby," I say aloud, waking myself from my horrible nightmare. I spring up in a sweaty panic, my body drenched in wetness and heat. These dreams have been getting out of control lately. Sometimes they're romantic and sexily steamy and other times they're like this, tragic and horribly heated.

I'm not surprised though, I've rarely gotten any sleep this week, and this is what usually follows. And last night wasn't any better with Jay having me drive all the way back home late in the night. All the baby wants to do is keep me awake by kicking and playing, so I have to sing her back to sleep. She's finally gotten used to my voice in there.

The nightmare has me a little shaken up, but I'm determined to be happy for my birthday. I look over to my bedside as I hear my phone buzz. Reading the screen, I see a text from Jay.

*im sorry baby,* is what it says. He must be referring to last night when he snapped at me.

"Whatever," I scoff aloud, rolling my eyes.

As though he's heard what I've said, he sends another. *just wishing you a happy birthday* He sends a kiss with balloons for emojis. Internally I laugh, but my expression remains the same. I was expecting a paragraph about how much he loves me. Knowing Jasean, he's probably hungover from night's prior.

I don't wanna seem ungrateful, and I'm pretty sure my hormones are getting the best of me, but I feel it's the least he could do. I know he's scared, because I am too. But, he promised he wouldn't leave; and physically being there but being drunk or high doesn't count. We need to be strong together, just like we used to say when we were younger.

Realizing how trash of a baby daddy he's being causes me to scowl as I get out of bed. But it doesn't stop me from trudging to the kitchen for breakfast. As I fix a glass of orange juice, I hear the tv going in the living room, persuading me to walk into the dining room.

Balloons engulf me, a card sits on the table addressed to me and a nice display of brunch is laid out. I squeal aloud, heading straight towards the freshly cut mangos. "Happy Birthday, Mija!" My mom calls from the living room.

I carry my tray of fruit into the living room, greeting her with a hug as she gets up. "Thank you mami!"

"Con mucho gusto. I love you," she gives me kisses while her mouth is stuffed with pancakes. "Ay, pero bad news, mija. They weren't able to process your cake order in time for the party. It's my fault," she holds up her hands in admitting. "I just got so busy planning everything else. So, I'll have to leave the party early in order to go get it okay?"

"It's ok ma, just stay," I assure her. But she insists, shaking her head.

"No, no my babies deserve their cake," she muses while rubbing my cashmere robe covering my belly. "Besides, I need to stop by the office and get some papers in order so we can set up the life insurance for baby."

I raise my eyebrows while looking down at my feet. I'm grateful I have a mom to remind me of these important things. Raising a baby is much more than physically taking care of it. "Do I need to be there?"

"No, just have fun at your party. Take care of yourself ok?" She smiles. "I'll be there to help set up."

******

For my birthday party, I've only invited mostly my friends from school and some girls from the dance team. I'm sure everyone will be excited and shocked to see me now that I'm pregnant. Jasmine and her boyfriend Keem are the first ones here. He's agreed to do the grilling for me. Jasmine promised me that Jaylen is on her way and that I'll see her soon, which makes me a bit anxious and nervous.

Selina hops out of her brother's old Camry, bearing a huge fruit basket from Edible in hand. My cravings have my mouth watering when I see it. After placing it on the food covered table, she hugs me. "I can't believe you didn't tell me you were pregnant!" She exclaims. She looks down at my attire of a simple white, flowy dress and beige, slouchy, knitted cardigan. "I can't even tell!"

I giggle aloud. "Yep, 23 weeks now."

Jasmine rolls her eyes as she mixes the lemonade in the clear beverage dispenser. "She didn't even wanna tell me. Always beating around the bush with secrets." She eyes me down with a playful smile. Selina goes back to playing with my belly, holding her head close to my stomach. I laugh at her.

"How big is it? What's the gender? What are you gonna name it?" Selina has a million and one questions like usual.

"She's a grapefruit right now," I laugh while explaining. "And we haven't decided the name yet." All this talk about the baby makes me wonder about Jasean. But, if he's going to bring his nonsense, I'd prefer he not come at all. A girl can only dream of something so simple though, I guess.