For him,
I feel that you should know why I’m trying to contact you again after so long but I’ve been through a really tough time and through this time all I wanted to be was alone. You were the person who told me to follow my dreams because you knew I could always make it far and now I’ve made it just like you have. It’s getting harder to stay strong and not knowing if you’re proud of me but sometimes I like to picture how happy you would be when you hear when you hear my songs on the radio. In the past year I have sent you 2 letters that haven’t even been a page long. There were many missing pieces in those letters and they should’ve been pages long explaining what’s going on in my head and in reality. I think I’m getting a lot better now but I just wish that I would’ve been better and wouldn’t get sucked into all this; the drugs, the alcohol, the one night stands. I just wish we had spoken a lot more and I wish I could’ve found you earlier but now I’m taking a turn for the better. I’m trying to slow myself down because after recent events I have come to realise how people would survive without me. Apparently not too good by what my friends have told me but they were glad to see me okay again.
I remember you saying how it was just in the music and in the rock and roll spirit but lately I don’t actually believe that. I know that the last time we spoke was when I started going downhill and you thought that I was in some of my worst but I hope you never have to see me down that path again. I still remember after three years of being friends we called each other our Terror Twin. We used to talk about sticking together through everything and taking over the world. I hope you can forgive me after this past year. Explaining this past year to you all at once was a really hard decision for me to make but you’re my best friend and you should know what’s going on.
Sometimes when I’m on my own I just know that I’m not alone because there’s someone who knows exactly what I’m going through and are praying for me to get out of it. I’m writing this with the hope that you don’t hate me and that we can just remember the good times back from the start of high school and throughout high school and our friends. I need you to know that this is all true and coming from my heart. To me, you are where my heart is and when I’m with you it’s like I’m home.
I’m sorry for letting you down.
I miss and love you,
Me
