Watching him go from club to club and constantly fall over many times wasn’t a sight I liked seeing but I had to deal with it every night. I’ve tried to slow him down on the drugs and the drinking but he just won’t listen to me. He’s really starting to lose his mind and probably himself and if I don’t stop him I’m going to lose him. Even more so than when he runs off with strippers and easy girls he can have sex with. They seem to know who he is but they let him in and give him a show, centre stage with a full house. I feel sorry for those poor girls but they know what they’re getting into whilst he tows them wherever he wants to go and then they’re in too deep.
I remember when I was one of those girls that did things like that but he made me realise I was much better than that. He was the first guy that made me open my eyes to the real world whereas I didn’t take notice to him whilst he was going down. It was like the tables had completely turned and now he’s going down the path I used to. I would use to fall down everywhere until I was down on the ground. I was out of my mind and out of control but he got into my head and stopped me. He told me he was proud of me for changing my way. Now he understands how self-destruction can be so seducing and is such a pretty thing.
Trying to find him whilst he’s in his self-destructive moments was the hardest thing that I could do. It’s actually harder than exams due to the fact he always knows the places to hide and even though he knows he should walk away he doesn’t. He believes this is all a game and I was just a girl with a lot of problems and he’s just another one of those. He’s not, I fell in love with him and he doesn’t realise that it hurts me to see him like this.
I should have told him sorry when I had the chance but now it’s just too late.
