Roast Yourself Lyrics

Caspar Lee

Hey there, Caspar Richard George Lee is my name, better known as Zoella's brother's ex-roommate, talk about how shit I am I can do it all day, but I can't because I don't know how to rap... or rhyme or say the words in time.

That's why I got my friends to help me write out every line.
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Conor**
WE'RE NOT HIS FRIENDS!
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Haha oh there they go again and everywhere I go I got Wi-Fi on my head.

But at least when I wake up Gigi Hadid is in my bed.
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Conor**
NO SHE'S NOT!
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Well she will be when we're finally wed!
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Conor**
SHE GOT A RESTRAINING ORDER!
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STFU
My heads like a pineapple and my back is wonky and people like my mother way more than they like me.
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Conor * *
SHE'S FUCKIN' HOT!
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I know she is but I don't give a fuck! And every comment that I get is "Where is Joe Sugg?"
And if we weren't best friends I would lose all my subs,and then the only sub I'd have is when I wanted grub.
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Conor **
FROM SUBWAY!
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Friday,Friday,I tweet every Friday,you would think Rebecca Black has got me by my guy place,little do they know I only do it for the retweets,it's the only thing that makes me feel like people need me.
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Conor **
HE'S REALLY INSECURE!
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I am verified on tinder but my only match is a girl named Linda.

Finally got the courage so I asked her out for dinner,then she went and asked me how much money can I send her.

So I did,I sent a million.

Then suddenly her tinder profile went and disappeared.

I don't know where she is,I don't know where she lives. If anyone has some information they can give,please call in here.

"Please she was my everything!!"
*crys*
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Conor **
"Jesus are you alright mate?"
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"I'm fine."
I don't give a damn,I'm the fuckin' man,even Kevin Hart follows me on Instagram!
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Conor **
NO HE DOESN'T!
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Yes he does!
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Conor **
"CHECK YOUR PHONE. I THOUGHT YOU ALREADY KNEW. I'M SORRY YOU HAVE TO FIND OUT THIS WAY."

By the way,I'm only here because I'm getting paid,Caspar thinks it will get him laid,but no one wants to jump on that grenade. No........

Oh shit I just got a text from Linda, she's telling me Caspar's money is going to be in her bank account can't believe he sent it over Tinder.

Now I can't wait to see where we go for dinner.