obsession

thirteen

Everyone in our city put out a search party for Margot- it's been a month since she went missing, and nothing has felt right since. Everyone knows that. Something is missing- a joke, a high-pitched laugh. It's like Margot's disappearance really set a lot of people off. Her shrill voice, her neon clothing. People are looking up and down, going to people's doors, trying to piece together why and how she went missing.

Was there a motive? Did someone kidnap Margot? Or worse, did someone murder her? If that was the case, why? What did they want? What did they gain from it?

There were so many questions relentlessly eating away at us. 

Margot even made the news. If she knew, she would be freaking out. However, she would've been pissed at the photo they put on national television. It was her, just a few months ago during the spring. I loved this photo, but she loathed it. There she stood, underneath an orange tree, with her little cousin in her arms, and she was laughing with the baby, her hair parted, a curly strand tickling her face. 

When I saw it, I locked myself in my bedroom and cried. I called her telephone so many times, but nobody answered. Not her mom, not anyone. It was beginning to feel like I'd made her up.

I joined the search party without question. Jane covered the hickey on my neck with her makeup, and even let Kieran go with me. It was twisted in a way, how we were on a date, looking for my best friend- whether she was dead or alive. 

I went to the woods behind her house- I knew she walked in the woods when she was having a bad day. I looked behind every tree, thinking she was going to be there, just playing a prank on us all. Her stifled laughter in the summer heat. She was nowhere. 

"Hey, Kieran?" I asked. "Has anyone ever gone missing in your life?"

"Oh yeah," he says, but that's all he tells me. When I look up at him, he looks uncomfortable, so I don't press. As much as I want to.

"Do you think they're going to find her?"

He doesn't say anything for a second. Then he stops, and takes my hand in his. His skin is surprisingly cold, despite it being near 100 degrees. I stop and look up. 

"I don't know, baby," he says. "I hope they do. I really do. I hope with everything in me that she's safe somewhere."

I feel a ball in my throat begin to form. "Me, too."

"When I was younger, I lost someone really close to me," he looks off into the distance. "I was just a little kid, but I knew I loved her. And one day, she was just ripped out of my life. It killed me. I didn't know what to do."

"I'm so sorry, Kieran," I say gently, putting my hand over his heart. "If you don't mind me asking, what happened to her?"

He shrugged, and rubbed at his eyes a little bit. "I-I don't know. I was convinced she was going to be gone forever, and I would never see her again."

"And was she?" I whisper.

He looks at me this time, his gaze boring into me. I shift on one foot, almost wanting to look away. He just shrugs again. And we keep walking.

There's an uneasy silence between us. We don't bring it up again.

"Does Jane still want us to be away from each other?" He asks after awhile.

"I don't know," I sigh. "I think she does, or maybe she just wants us to be friends. It really sucks."

"You remember what I said, though."

"Yeah, I chuckle. "Yeah, I remember a lot of what you said."

He nudges my side, glowering at me, and we both giggle. Then he asks, "So, do you think you would ever sneak out or anything?"

"I snuck out once before, but me and Margot just went out in the backyard. That's as far as I ever went."

"You're gonna sneak over to my house. Would you like that?"

The leaves crunch underneath my sneakers when I stop in my tracks. "But- but I don't know how. And if they caught me, my dad would kill me. And he would really kill you."

"I can assure you, he wouldn't do that. And anyway, I'll make it so you don't get caught. Okay?"

"How are you going to do that?" 

"Please, Tate," he chuckles. "I have my ways. So, what do you say?"

"When?"

"Tonight. I'll wait in your backyard so you don't have to walk to my house alone in the dark."

I feel my stomach twist with nervousness. "I don't see why not, but... I'm scared I'm going to get in trouble. And... And you make me nervous."

He steps closer, and wraps his arms one arm around my waist. I feel my cheeks go hotter than they already are. Near my ear, he says, "I promise you, you will not get in trouble. And all your nervousness will wash away tonight. Just know that, huh?

I nod. He leans down to kiss me, and all my worries melt away.

We continue looking behind trees for hours.